


The Sex Tape

by lionfish13



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Angst, Angst and Porn, Drama, Drama & Romance, Family, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Homosexuality, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 23:24:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 40,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionfish13/pseuds/lionfish13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miyagi & Shinobu make a sex tape and events ensue. Lots of smut, fluff, drama & angst!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Shinobu had been in a bad mood all week. Miyagi couldn’t blame him; he was feeling pretty glum too. Of course, he was also a little excited – the university had arranged for his whole department to attend a Literature symposium which was being held in Hokkaido and to which eminent Japanese literature experts from all around the world would be flocking.

This was Miyagi’s chance to mix with the best like-minded scholars in the world – and also his chance to show off, as he and Kamijou would be presenting some of their research to their peers. And at last he would have a truly captivated audience, eager to hear his thoughts on Matsuo Basho – and for once, Kamijou need have no excuse to throw books at anyone’s head.

The problem was that, unlike his usual conferences which required him to leave his lover only for a single weekend, this time the symposium had been organised to last an entire month.

Of course Shinobu was upset. He had spent the entire week leading up to Miyagi’s departure in sullen silence. The cabbage was more burnt than usual. Even in bed, while he allowed Miyagi to draw him into his arms, there remained a palpable coldness between them.

Miyagi sighed. He would be leaving in two days time and he really didn’t want this unpleasant atmosphere to continue until he and Shinobu finally parted. He knew he was going to miss the boy terribly; now that Shinobu had moved next door, they rarely went more than a couple of days without seeing each other. A month apart was going to be torture, and even more so if Shinobu didn’t warm up to him beforehand.

At the moment the boy in question was sitting at the dining room table, pouring over his law textbooks. Miyagi sidled up behind him and slid his arms around the boy’s waist. Shinobu noticeably stiffened.

“What is it, old man? Can’t you see I’m studying?”

Miyagi sighed once more and gently nuzzled the back of Shinobu’s neck.

“Shu-chin,” he whined, “Come on, enough’s enough. You know I have no choice – it’s work, I have to go. It’s not like I want to leave you. Oh Shu, don’t you know I’m going to miss you so much. So so much. So so sooo much!”

Wheedling him, Miyagi tugged at Shinobu’s arm, pulling him up from his chair and wrapping his arms tightly around his waist before the boy could wriggle free.

Shinobu huffed and tried to push away, but Miyagi held him fast against his body and with his right hand he forced him to tilt his face up to his, capturing his lips in a firm kiss.

He swept Shinobu’s bottom lip gently with his tongue, probing for entrance to his lover’s mouth.

Shinobu resisted at first, too stubborn to give way easily. But under the effect of Miyagi’s soft, skilful lips and his hands’ gentle caresses, Shinobu yielded and parted his lips to allow his lover to explore him more thoroughly. Their tongues fought for a few moments, before relaxing and stroking each other languidly.

At last, the two broke apart, gasping for air. Shinobu’s cold countenance had melted away, and Miyagi was amused to see the familiar blush once again adorning his cute lover’s cheeks. Shinobu’s lips were flushed and swollen ever so enticingly.

An idea popped into Miyagi’s head.

It was risky, and Shinobu would almost certainly smack him if he dared suggest it. He was about to push the idea from his mind when Shinobu turned his big, beautiful, grey eyes up to meet his.

Miyagi felt a sudden tightening in his stomach – and a pleasurable twitch in his groin. It wasn’t every day that Shinobu looked up at him with such lust in his gaze. Lately he’d counted himself lucky if Shinobu looked at him with anything other than anger or annoyance!

He decided to risk it.

“So Shu… I was just thinking… I’m going to be away for a whole month, unable to see you. I’ll probably be really busy and won’t have a lot of time to call you. How about I take a little reminder of you with me?”

“A reminder? What, like a photo or something? Oh, or do you want me to make you a couple of packed lunches to take with you?”

“Uh, well maybe a photo too… But I thought it’d be nice to have something else, something you and I could make together – maybe like a video…”

“Huh, a video of us doing what? What we always do, you marking, me studying?? How boring!"

“No, I mean of us doing something a lot more interesting than that! I meant – a video just for the two of us – for our eyes only, if you get my meaning.”

Shinobu simply stared at his older lover blankly. He clearly did not get Miyagi’s meaning. For such a smart kid, he was being surprisingly dumb; but then he had been a complete innocent before Miyagi had come along and corrupted him.

“What I’m trying to say, Shu-chin, is that I wouldn’t be averse, so long as you were happy with it too of course, to making love to you and, er, _recording the event_ to help keep me company while I’m forced to stay away from you, my dearest, loveliest Shinobu!”

“ _What?!”_ Shinobu yelped. “You want to make a sex tape of us???”

Miyagi’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“Well, it- it was just a suggestion! Don’t worry, don’t worry, it was a stupid idea, can’t believe I said it even! Let’s just forget about it.”

Shinobu stared at him for a long moment. Then, as the trace of a wicked grin started to spread across his face, he said,

“Well if we do it – we need two copies, ‘cos it’s no fair if you get to take away the only one! I’ll be lonely without you too, you know.”

Miyagi stared at Shinobu in shock; he hadn’t expected him to actually take to the idea! He nodded slowly as Shinobu added seriously that they would both need to take extreme precautions – no-one must be allowed to ever find the tapes. Not only would it be devastating to their relationship, Miyagi’s career and potentially even his freedom if it became known that he was sleeping with an underage boy, but the humiliation and embarrassment would be utterly unbearable.

Miyagi leaned forward to kiss Shinobu once more, then inspected him closely for a moment to double check that he was still keen and wasn’t simply pulling his leg. When he was sure that Shinobu was really serious about his suggestion, he directed him to the bedroom and hurried to dig out his old camcorder.

Finding it in a drawer with his camera, an old TV remote and a handful of used batteries, he checked it still worked and popped in fresh, new batteries to make sure it could last – well, at least as long as he could last anyway!

Hurrying into the bedroom, he found Shinobu already half undressed, his t-shirt and socks in a pile on the floor and the zip on his jeans undone. Miyagi caught a tantalising glimpse of the bulge in his lover’s pants before turning to set up the recorder on the flat top of his chest of drawers, taking care to check that it was angled correctly towards the bed.

He marvelled for a moment at the thought that he could get so excited at the thought of seeing and touching another man’s body; before Shinobu had forced his way into his life, he had never imagined that he could ever want to be so intimate with a man, or that he actually wouldn’t miss the soft curves and high-pitched feminine moans of a woman. Since he had accepted Shinobu as his lover, not once had he regretted his decision, nor had he ever lain beside the boy and thought _if only he were female!_

Turning his back on the camcorder to face his lover, the lust in his eyes grew stronger as he took in the sight of Shinobu’s lithe, sexy body. Shinobu was sprawled naked across the bed, head propped up on his left hand, eyes fixed on Miyagi, while his right hand rested just above his stomach, fingertips lightly brushing his creamy skin.

Miyagi shed his own clothes in a hurry, desperate to be with his lover. Shinobu noted with delight that the anticipation of their union had already worked Miyagi up into a frenzy and, as soon as it was freed, his cock had immediately sprung up and begun to weep its salty tears of pleasure.

Miyagi knelt over Shinobu, his knee keeping the boy’s legs apart as he bent his head to kiss him. Shinobu’s fingers danced over the older man’s chest, brushing over his nipples, sliding his palms over Miyagi’s abs. He circled the man’s waist with his arms and pulled him down on top of him, pressing their bodies together.

Miyagi kissed Shinobu deeply, running his hands through the boy’s honey-hued hair. His lips explored his lover thoroughly, moving from his mouth to plant sweet kisses over his cheeks and neck, nibbling at his flushed ears, leaving a trail of small bruises along his neck and collarbone.

Shinobu moaned softly and arched his body up into Miyagi’s caresses. Miyagi ran his hands down the length of Shinobu’s arms, catching his hands and pinning them above their heads. Their fingers laced together of their own accord.

Feeling Miyagi’s lips return to capture his own in another passionate kiss, Shinobu moaned again, louder this time, and parted his legs more to allow Miyagi to settle in even closer. Rubbing his left foot gently up and down Miyagi’s calf, he began to undulate his body, moving his chest, his hips, his cock against his lover, feeling the heat and friction between them begin to build up. And yet it wasn’t enough.

Miyagi suddenly sensed that his lover needed more than he was getting. He pulled back slightly to make a little more space between them. Propping himself up on his left arm, he circled and teased Shinobu’s taut, red little nipples with his fingertips, squeezing them hard before latching onto the right nipple, sucking it hungrily and flicking it with his tongue.

He bit it gently, drawing a gasp from the boy beneath him. Raising his head a little, he blew across the flushed nipple, causing Shinobu to jerk slightly at the unexpected change in temperature from Miyagi’s hot mouth to his cool breath.

But Miyagi hadn’t yet finished his exploration of his lover’s body. He continued his way downwards, kissing and licking and nipping, and none of his efforts went unrewarded.

Shinobu, who usually was so shy when it came to sex, was becoming more and more vocal, his gasps and moans and groans ever increasing in frequency and volume. His body too was reacting violently to his lover’s ministrations, trembling and bucking wildly.

Miyagi ignored Shinobu’s pulsing member at first; he nibbled the boy’s inner thighs and caressed his tightening balls, before pausing to wet his fingers with his saliva. Stroking and circling Shinobu’s tight entrance, his moistened fingers demanded entry one by one into Shinobu’s most private place.

Gently rubbing Shinobu’s inner walls, Miyagi’s experienced digits quickly found their way to his most pleasurable spot, and almost instantly a large droplet of white pre-cum oozed from the tip of Shinobu’s cock.

“Miyagi.. M-Miyagi, ooh, ah hah, aaahh, MIYAGI!!”

Shinobu gasped, calling out his lover’s name over and over again as he felt his climax building up inside him.

Miyagi was still crouched between Shinobu’s legs, and with his fingers buried deep inside the boy, he moved his left hand from where it had been cupping and gently squeezing Shinobu’s balls and instead firmly gripped his cock.

Taking the head into his mouth, he sucked and swallowed hard, hearing Shinobu’s guttural shout beneath him and so not at all surprised when a moment later, hot, sticky come flooded his mouth. His fingers pressing up inside Shinobu maintained their circular rubbing motion until the flood finally abated and the tight, quivering muscles surrounding his fingers slowly relaxed.

Shinobu lay on the bed panting hard, eyes squeezed shut. A few moments passed, and when the euphoria started to ebb away and he caught his breath again, he opened his eyes. Looking up, he caught sight of Miyagi, still erect and incredibly hard, kneeling between his legs and staring at him with undisguised lust.

Saying nothing, Shinobu reached up his arms, encouraging Miyagi to come to him. He wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, encircling his waist with his legs. Raising his hips slightly, he positioned himself perfectly so that Miyagi’s cock naturally lined up with his entrance, prodding it gently.

Miyagi understood, and needing no further encouragement, pushed his cock slowly into Shinobu’s arse, as deep as it would go. He kissed the boy hungrily, thrusting his tongue inside his mouth, mimicking the actions of his greedy cock.

Almost immediately, Miyagi began to thrust his member in and out of his lover, shallow thrusts at first, but he quickly descended into a frenzy, desperately pumping Shinobu’s arse as hard as he could.

Despite having come so recently, Miyagi’s fresh stimulation of his prostate quickly returned Shinobu to a thoroughly aroused state and he lifted his hips, meeting his lover thrust for thrust.

Feeling Miyagi starting to get carried away, the precocious teen decided to take control. Grabbing Miyagi’s hips, he pushed him to the side while turning his own hips in the same direction. Keeping their bodies together, they rolled over so that Shinobu was now straddling Miyagi.

Shinobu sat still for a moment, hands resting on Miyagi’s chest. Then, as they each looked into the other’s eyes, he began to slowly rotate his hips, grinding down against Miyagi, feeling the cock inside him twitch and push in even deeper.

Miyagi’s breath hitched; he couldn’t keep his eyes off his beautiful, sexy lover, who had him pinned to the bed and was slowly fucking his brains out.

He rested his hands on Shinobu’s hips, softly stroking the smooth skin with the pads of his thumbs. Shinobu lifted himself up slightly, sliding almost all the way off Miyagi’s cock, leaving only the sensitive head inside.

Slowly, teasingly, bit by bit he eased himself down, impaling himself once more on Miyagi’s hardened member.

He moved in this way over and over again, slowly, languidly, drawing little gasps and moans from his tortured lover beneath him. Miyagi’s eyes rolled back in his head and, unable to take the slow pace any longer, his grip tightened on Shinobu’s hips and he tugged the boy down to him while at the same time bucking his own hips and thrusting hard up into his lover’s tight arse.

Shinobu cried out at the feeling of being so suddenly and forcefully filled. He fell forward onto Miyagi, who gathered him up tightly in his arms and drew him into a deep, passionate kiss.

Holding onto his lover, Miyagi raised himself until he and Shinobu were both in a sitting position. Placing his hands under Shinobu’s pert butt cheeks, he helped the boy to start moving until Shinobu was bouncing enthusiastically up and down his cock.

Both were now gasping for air, the pleasures in their groins growing ever more intense. Miyagi tightened his arms around Shinobu, pinning him against his body and, groaning, buried his face in the boy’s neck, breathing in his sweaty, sex-soaked scent.

Here in this room, naked and in the arms of the person he loved, with no-one else around to get in their way – life didn’t get any better than this, Miyagi mused.

He nuzzled Shinobu’s neck, nibbling along his jaw, and raised his lips to his lover’s ear.

“I love you, Shinobu,” he whispered.

Shinobu whimpered and turned his face to Miyagi’s.

“I love you too, old man.”

He cupped the man’s face and kissed him sweetly. They leaned back against the bed, and Miyagi rolled them over so he was once again on top.

He kissed Shinobu over and over again as he made love to him. Reaching between their bodies, he took hold of Shinobu’s leaking member, jerking it hard in time with his thrusts.

Shinobu writhed and moaned under the onslaught, feeling his orgasm approach.

Finally, hearing Miyagi groaning and tensing up above him pushed him over the edge and he came, his seed pouring out of him in thick spurts, covering his chest and stomach.

Miyagi collapsed next to him, and, seeing the specks of white scattered across his lover’s body, reached out a finger, scooped up some of the thick liquid and proceeded to suck it off his finger. He laughed as he saw the look of horrified disgust on Shinobu’s face, and pulled the boy into his arms.

Snuggling up to him, he draped a long leg over Shinobu’s and nestled his face against the boy’s neck. Sighing softly, his breath tickled the sensitive skin, particularly affecting the areas where he had left his mark.

Comfortable in each other’s arms, both men felt their eyes slide shut and rested peacefully side by side.

Shinobu, with youth on his side, was the first to recover a few minutes later. Turning his head, he gazed at his sleeping lover, his heart starting to beat a little faster. Lying next to Miyagi like this was a dream come true; and determined as he had been to make Miyagi fall in love with him, there had always been a large part of him that had never truly believed he would get what he wanted.

Relaxed in sleep, Miyagi’s face looked younger than his thirty five years. He seemed to be enjoying a pleasant dream; a hint of a smile pricked at the corners of his mouth and his broad chest rose and fell slowly with each deep breath.

Shinobu reached out a small hand and gently brushed a few strands of Miyagi’s dark hair away from his eyes, careful not to wake him. He traced the tips of his fingers over Miyagi’s cheek, noting the prickle of stubble lining his jaw.

In his eyes, Miyagi was the perfect man: tall, strong and handsome, but more bookish than brawny. A man with passion and values, who thought with his head and heart, not just with what was in his trousers like so many other men.

And he belonged to Shinobu. All of Miyagi’s passion and devotion was for Shinobu, and Shinobu alone.

How long had he waited for this day!

Tenderly, he leaned forward and brushed Miyagi’s lips with his own.

Miyagi stirred. Opening his eyes, he focussed on Shinobu’s face hovering over his own, full of love and wonder. Smiling gently, he pulled the boy against him and wrapped his arms around him.

“Well, that seems to have cheered you up a bit! The question is, will it be enough to keep you satisfied for a whole month?”

“Dunno – maybe you’ll have to pop back a few times to see me!”

“Much as I’d love to, I can’t see that I’ll have much opportunity to just ‘pop back’ from Hokkaido to Tokyo every other day!”

“Shame. Hmm, maybe I’ll have to find a temporary replacement for you to keep me satisfied then!” Shinobu teased.

Miyagi frowned and poked him in the ribs.

“You’d better not!! No-one else is getting their hands on my lover, thanks very much! Huh, maybe I should get you fitted with a chastity belt just to make sure…”

“A chastity belt?? That’s ridiculous! I think maybe I should get one for _you_ , since I won’t be there to make sure you’re behaving yourself with that assistant of yours. You know, you just can’t be trusted!"

“Shu, there’s nothing going on between Kamijou and me! Honestly – neither of us would ever be remotely interested in each other in that way. Besides, even if I did want something with him, it’d still never happen - you should see the size of his boyfriend! Getting on his bad side hurts, believe me.”

“OI! How the hell do you know??”

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing, nothing at all, I don’t know anything! Anyway, my point is, Shu, that you needn’t worry about Kamijou or anyone else at all. And that really is the truth. ‘Cos guess what, brat – I love you and only you!”

And with those words, Miyagi leaned over Shinobu and captured his lips in a tender kiss. Lacing their fingers together, Miyagi nuzzled Shinobu’s cheek and murmured,

“I am gonna miss you, you know. This symposium is a great opportunity for me and the department as a whole, and you know how much I love hearing about and discussing literature, I know I’ll enjoy the conference itself enormously. But no matter what happens, how good it is – even however much all those knowledgeable experts praise my work! Ahem… No matter what, I’ll still be thinking of you every day and I’ll miss you. Even your tantrums and your incessant talk about _destiny_ – even your cabbage!”

Shinobu glared at Miyagi’s reference to his atrocious culinary skills; then his expression softened as he reassured Miyagi of his own feelings for the older man.

“I’m going to miss you too. I expect you to call me every day, by the way!”

 _“Every_ day?? Of course I’ll call you, Shu, but I’m still going to be pretty damn busy – I’m not sure it’ll even be feasible for me to call every single day.”

“Well, every other day then. And make this month go fast, so you’ll be home again soon.”

Touched by his lover’s words, Miyagi smiled and said,

“Ok, every other day then. And I’ll do my best to speed up time for you!”

All of a sudden, Shinobu’s stomach gave a loud growl. Giving a great roar of laughter, Miyagi sprang up from the bed and pulled the boy up by the hand. Rubbing his palm over Shinobu’s flat belly, he suggested they order in some dinner – both were too exhausted to cook that evening.

Pulling on yukata, they chatted about what to eat. Shinobu slipped his hand into Miyagi’s and they both moved to leave the bedroom.

“Oh!” Shinobu said, stopping suddenly. “The camcorder – it’s still on.”

“Ah! Can’t believe I forgot!”

Hurrying over to the chest of drawers, Miyagi switched off the recorder and slipped the tape out of its compartment, making a mental note to make a copy for Shinobu.

Then, taking his young lover’s hand in his own once more, Miyagi led the way out of the room.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter also = smut... ;)

The past week had gone by like a blur for Miyagi.

The flight to Hokkaido had been uneventful. Hiroki had been a little grumpy at being sandwiched between his senior professor and the Dean, both of whom had been unable to keep quiet for the entire journey as they were so excited.

Then once they had landed, they had had a non-stop week of lectures, discussions, dinners and networking. As predicted, Miyagi was enjoying himself very much.

He made sure to call his young lover every two days as promised; yet they hadn’t had a lot of time to talk – on two occasions their conversation had been interrupted by the arrival of the Dean, requesting Miyagi’s presence to meet yet another learned colleague. Shinobu had sounded more than a little disappointed and annoyed the last time, having only been able to talk to Miyagi for a couple of minutes.

He’d have to make it up to him, and find some time for them to have a proper conversation. As it was currently Sunday, he should have had plenty of time – the conference members were given half of Saturday and all of Sunday off for a break.

However, as it was the first time in Hokkaido for both the Dean and Hiroki, the Dean had insisted that they explore the area a bit. So far, they had visited the Beer Museum (at Miyagi’s insistence), ridden a cable car up into the nearby mountains (Hiroki’s request) and relaxed in the hot springs (the Dean’s suggestion).

Which meant that very little of the weekend now remained.

Finally returning to the hotel, Miyagi turned to his two companions and excused himself for the rest of the evening, claiming that he needed to go over a few materials before the start of the new week.

He saw Hiroki open his mouth to speak, looking a little restless or edgy, as if he too would like to retreat to the privacy of his room. No such luck for the poor, unhappy man, however, as the Dean promptly slapped him on the back and dragged him off for a few beers in the bar to round off the day.

Chuckling, Miyagi hurried off to call the lift, glad he had escaped before the Dean could rope him into a binge-drinking session. God knows what he might accidentally let slip if the man plied him with a few too many beers! Possibly something along the lines of, Oh yeah, boss, forgot to tell you – your nineteen year old son sure is a hottie! He and I have been licking each other all over for months now, and man, does he have a tight arse!

He shuddered at the terrifying thought of spilling such words out in front of the Dean. For the millionth time, he wondered if it really was worth all the trouble – having to sneak around for fear of being branded a pervert – or worse, a paedophile… The anxiety about losing his beloved job… Of all his hard work being for nothing, all respect for him shattered in the moment of revelation…

But then, intruding on his morose thoughts, scattering them all away, came the vision of Shinobu’s adorable face turned up to his, telling him once again how much he loved him, how it was their _destiny_ to be together…

Of course it was worth it. He wouldn’t be risking so much if Shinobu wasn’t worth it – if he didn’t mean more to him than his job, his status, even his freedom.

He supposed there was always hope that one day, when Shinobu was of age and independent of his parents, they might be able to be together openly.

Though it still might be better to wait until society became more accepting. And maybe also until the Dean retired. So, maybe in ten or fifteen years minimum…

Smiling ruefully, he slipped off his shoes, locked the door to his bedroom behind him and, pulling out his mobile phone, settled down comfortably on the bed.

The phone only rang twice before Shinobu answered.

“Hey, old man. I wondered when you’d be calling again. Are you actually going to talk to me for more than a minute this time??”

Miyagi grinned at the sound of Shinobu’s familiar, antagonistic tone of voice.

“Hello Shinobu-chin. Well, I’ve finally managed to shake everyone off, so I think you and I have a fair bit of time just for the two of us now. How’ve you been?”

“Fine, of course. But missing you.”

“Heh, I miss you too, love. How’s uni going? And I hope you’ve managed not to burn down the apartment building yet!”

“Oi, of course not! My cooking is getting better and better, I’ll have you know! Besides, my mum’s cooked for me a couple of times this week, think she’s missing having my dad around. Gonna have to go shopping soon though – you’re starting to run low on food, even in the freezer.”

“What?? You’re eating my food? What happened to your own supplies?”

“Don’t have much – you know I usually end up eating at yours anyway! And you can’t complain when I’m always cooking nice, healthy meals for you!”

“Yeah, cabbage on Monday, cabbage on Tuesday, cabbage on Wednesday – wonder what’s for dinner on Thursday??”

“…”

“I’ll stop then if you don’t like it. I don’t have to come around to take care of you, you know! And left to your own devices, you’d just poison yourself anyway. I had to throw out some stuff as it was weeks out of date!”

“From the freezer? Er, you know food lasts longer, often beyond its expiry date if it’s in the freezer, right?? Shinobu?”

“…Huh.”

“Oh well, whatever. Where are you now then? Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“I’m in your apartment.”

“Doing what?”

“Lying on your bed.”

“Wh- Lying on my bed doing what??”

“Thinking about you… I had been thinking of watching a certain tape actually…”

Miyagi’s eyes widened. He gulped at the thought of Shinobu writhing around in his bed, pleasuring himself as he watched the sex tape they had made together.

“Shu-chin… Uh, what are you wearing right now?”

“Hmm, well right now I’m wearing a t-shirt and my jeans. It is a bit hot in here though, maybe I should take something off?”

“Mmm, I think jeans in this hot weather is unwise, may be best to take those off.”

“Maybe you’re right. Let me… just… unzip…”

Faintly, in the background, Miyagi could just catch the sound of a zip slowly being undone and fabric rustling. Closing his eyes, he could just imagine the tight blue material sliding down his lover’s long, slender legs.

He leaned back into the pillows, moaning slightly under his breath, and trailed a hand down his own chest and back up again.

“Shu… I still can’t believe we made that tape! You’re such a dirty boy! Slide your hand under your shirt. Your nipples – touch them. Stroke them softly – I know you like having them played with. I want to hear you moan!”

Shinobu made a small, whining sound.

“Ugh, oh, Miyagi! …They’re so sensitive… They’re hard already.”

Miyagi unleashed a sudden gust of breath at Shinobu’s words. They had barely started and he was already rock hard. It was shocking, Shinobu’s power to arouse him.

He pushed his own shirt up, fondling his nipples as he liked to touch Shinobu. The boy was already making little panting noises down the phone; it was too much. His right hand desperately rubbed against his aching crotch, and he yanked his own trousers open.

“God, Shu, I wish I was there with you right now – I want to touch you so badly!”

“Miyagi – tell me what you want me to do… What would you do if you were here?”

“Mmm, I’d lick you all over! I want to touch and explore you everywhere. I’d kiss those soft, red lips of yours, I’d lick your nipples, your chest… Oh Shu… I’d bury my head between your legs and wrap my lips around your gorgeous cock!”

Shinobu gasped at Miyagi’s words. He was sure his adorable lover must have turned scarlet.

“Miyagi, what are you doing now?”

“What do you think I’m doing, brat?”

“Aah, are you touching yourself?"

“Hmm no – in my head it’s not my hand touching me – it’s yours. Shu-chin, you’re such a naughty kid, teasing me and pumping my cock like this!”

“Oh! God, Miyagi! And your big, strong hand is on mine.”  
  
“And I bet you’re getting wet from it – dripping cum before you’ve even climaxed! Ugh, Shu, I want to touch you all over! I wanna make you wet, and make me wet too so I just slip right into you! You’re so hot, so tight… you always feel so good… Are you ready for me?”

“Not- not yet.”

“If I were there with you now, I’d get you to suck on my fingers – just one at first, then two, then three. I’d tease that irresistible little hole of yours and make you squirm as I slipped inside, finger by finger… Since I’m not there, Shu – will you do it? Will you touch yourself there for me?”

“O-ok.. But I’m gonna use the lube.”

There was a moment of silence down the end of the phone as Miyagi waited for Shinobu to get his fingers slicked up.

“Uh oh.”

“Hey, what’s the matter? You ok?”

“Too much came out of the bottle. I’ve got a big blob of goo on my hand!” Shinobu followed this up with a low, intense moan. Miyagi’s rigid cock twitched at the sound.

“Whoa, Shinobu,” he said in a husky voice. “Sounds like you’re enjoying yourself a lot there!”

“Mmmmm,” Shinobu could barely respond at first, only managing to get out a long, contented moan and panting breath. “I’ve never used lube on my cock before, feels so good!”

He gave another strangled cry, more high-pitched than the last.

Miyagi’s voice croaked as he whispered,

“What are you doing now, Shu-chin?”

“Fingers… inside… me…” his lover replied, almost too overcome to get the words out.

“Oh god, Shinobu! Slide them in and out! Ooh, fuck that delicious arse of yours! GOD, I want so much to be the one fucking you right now!!”

Miyagi’s hand was jerking his own cock as hard and fast as he could. His hips bucked wildly and his whole body was tense as he panted and groaned and drowned in the cries of his lover.

Shinobu had no longer been satisfied with just one hand. With the mobile set to speaker phone, he had let it slip down onto the pillow and, with three fingers buried deep inside himself, he pumped his lubed cock with his newly-freed hand. He could hear that Miyagi was close to orgasm too and closed his eyes, picturing his older lover leaning over him and pretending that the fingers inside him were instead Miyagi’s fat, throbbing cock.

Miyagi couldn’t hold on any longer. Squeezing his cock even tighter, he gave it three last tugs and came, his cum splattering over his shirt and trousers, soaking into the fabric.

Hearing his lover moan his name in his final throes, Shinobu trembled and spasmed. Throwing his head back, he too came hard.

Immediately, Miyagi felt a wave of tiredness hit him. Still panting after his climax, he managed to pull his soiled clothing off before collapsing again onto the bed.

“Mmm, Shinobu – that was a surprise! Phone sex, eh? Never knew you were so dirty!”

“It’s all your influence, old man."

“Hmm. Better not tell your dad that. Ugh, I’m so knackered…” Miyagi’s voice was already getting more and more quiet. His eyes started to drift shut.

“Miyagi?”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t hang up.”

“Shu-chin, I’m a man, and an old one at that – I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to stay awake for more chat tonight…”

“I know. Nor am I. But still – don’t hang up. This is the closest I can get to falling asleep beside you for now.”

Miyagi was momentarily speechless. Shinobu was the cutest, most adorable person he’d ever known!

“You know you won’t get to hear anything, just maybe me snoring?”

“Yeah, I know! But I just like to know you’re there.”

“Alright. But, love, I really am gonna have to sleep now. Wish I had you in my arms though… Love you, brat.”

“Love you too, old man.”

“Sleep well.”

Curling up under the covers, both men fell asleep to the sound of each other’s soft breath, counting the days until they could once again hold each other in their arms.


	3. Chapter Three

“Well, that went pretty damn well, didn’t it?” Miyagi practically sang, as he and Hiroki slowly filtered their way through the crowd leaving the lecture room. 

“Yeah, but I expected it would. We’ve put a lot of work into this research – well, at least I have. Who could argue with it? The evidence is concrete.”

It was three and a half weeks into the International Academic Japanese Literature Symposium and this was the day that Miyagi and Hiroki finally had to present their research findings on Matsuo Basho.

It was true that Basho was more a favourite of Miyagi’s than Hiroki’s, but one of the duties of the head lecturer’s assistant professor was to give up a decent chunk of time to help out said lecturer with whatever he wants – a duty which to Hiroki more often than not felt like a burden rather than a blessing.

It had been a hectic and heavy few weeks, particularly the last few days in the run up to their presentation, and both men were feeling a little stretched thin.

“How about we wind down over a few drinks, eh?” Miyagi suggested.

“Fine – but only if you’re buying!”

“Hey! Well, alright, I’ll get in the first couple of rounds anyway.” Miyagi conceded.

Pushing open the large main doors to the conference building, they wandered slowly away from the remaining groups of scholars milling around in front.

Turning left, they made their way up the slightly sloping road towards the main bar and restaurant district. Choosing a quiet, comfortable-looking bar, they slid into an empty booth near the back. Miyagi ordered a bottle of decent sake for them to share, and they sat quietly, enjoying for a few moments a little peace after their busy and stressful day as they waited for their drinks to arrive.

A pretty waitress promptly came and dropped off the alcohol and two small glasses. Glancing at Hiroki, she hesitated shyly for a moment, a small, coy smile playing on her lips. Then, remembering herself, she turned and rushed off, her cheeks now an attractive shade of pink.

“Kampai!” Hiroki raised his glass, clinking it against his superior’s.

Miyagi’s eyes wandered back to the departing waitress. “Think you’re in there,” he said, winking.

“Huh? What are you on about?” Hiroki replied, confused.

“The waitress! She was checking you out, didn’t you notice? She must’ve thought you were cute – god knows why!” Miyagi grinned.

“Huh. Well, whatever, I’m not interested.”

“No, you wouldn’t be – you’ve got that big, hunky boyfriend after all.”

Hiroki scowled, feeling his face flush.

“I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation.”

“Why not? We’re not at work at the moment, we’re not boss and subordinate right now – we’re friends, aren’t we? We should talk about these things!”

“It’s very personal, you know!”

Miyagi scoffed. “What, you think you and lover boy are the only two people to ever go out together? It’s personal, yeah, but only so much – look around and you’ll see everyone else is the same, everyone is doing it! Besides, you don’t need to be embarrassed around me, Kamijou – not after that scene in the lib–”

“YES!” Hiroki interjected, “Let’s just stop right there, shall we! Can’t we just forget all about that?”

“Well, I really do wish that I could actually. Sometimes I even dream about it – those nights are the worst, I can tell you…”

Hiroki’s frown deepened and he ground his teeth. Refilling his glass, he knocked back his drink in one go.

“Anyway, you really needn’t get so worked up. I’m in the same situation as you, remember.”

“Yeah, I know, with that little brat!”

“True, he is a brat!” Miyagi agreed, nodding, a grin once again plastered across his face. “But he’s a special brat. But anyway, I know about you, you know about me – why can’t we have a chat about our relationships? You must talk about him with other people – your friends and family, right?”

Hiroki didn’t look up at this. Mumbling, he said something which sounded like ‘not really’ and swallowed another shot.

Miyagi looked confused.

“Kamijou, out of curiosity, how long have you and what’s-his-name been together?”

Resigned to the fact that Miyagi was going to keep on asking him about his relationship with Nowaki, Hiroki sighed and faced his superior.

“Nearly seven years now, I guess – if you include the year he was away studying.”

Miyagi’s mouth dropped open in surprise. He hadn’t expected his shy assistant to have been in such a lengthy relationship – or at least for another person to have survived intact after seven years with an angry, bad-tempered man who had a penchant for hurling books at people’s heads.

“Seven years? Wow, that’s impressive! Makes my marriage look like it was over in a day, eh? Heh.”

Hiroki made no reply.

“So, what did your parents say when you first told them about the two of you? What about when they saw the size of him, did they fret after their poor, ickle Hiroki-kun??”

Hiroki flushed again and pressed his lips together, looking uncomfortable. He wasn’t quite sure why he was letting Miyagi get away with asking all these questions, why he hadn’t at least changed the subject, if not actually attacked the man! Although, he thought as he went to refill his glass once more, the lightness of the bottle of sake might have something to do with it.

Looking round, he caught the eye of a nearby waitress and signalled for her to bring a refill. He felt he needed the support to withstand Miyagi’s barrage of questions – yet it was a vicious circle, as it was the sake in the first place that was making the elder professor bold enough to interrogate him and making his own tongue loose enough to answer.

“They didn’t say anything,” he finally replied, as Miyagi leaned over the table in eager anticipation of his reply. “They didn’t say anything, because they don’t know. They’ve never met Nowaki, nor spoken to him either. Like I said, our relationship is private.”

Miyagi looked gobsmacked.

“What? You’ve been with him for seven years and you’ve still not told your family?!”

“So??!” Hiroki shot back defensively.

“Why?? Seven years – you’re obviously committed to the guy or you wouldn’t have stayed with him so long. And I know he’s keen from the way he practically choked me to death. So what – you’re not ashamed of him, are you?”

“Of course I’m not ashamed!” Hiroki’s brow deepened menacingly, outraged at Miyagi’s suggestion. “Nowaki – Nowaki, I could never be ashamed of Nowaki! He’s the best – the sweetest – kindest – guy I know.”

Hiroki’s words were starting to slur and his expression became dreamlike as he recalled how wonderful his Nowaki was.

Miyagi stared at the bizarre, unfamiliar look on his colleague’s face. Taking a gulp of his drink, he put his glass back down on the table and pointed a finger at the man sitting opposite him.

“So – if he’s so wonderful, why don’t you introduce him to your family? And really, what is the use of you?? Here I thought you’d be the ideal person to turn to, the only person I can confide in when it comes to me and Shinobu – but how can you help me when you won’t even tell the people you care about that you’ve been in a relationship with someone for over half a decade??”

Miyagi’s words snapped Hiroki out of his reverie. A frown once more decorating his features, he leaned a little unsteadily over the table and hissed,

“Now look here – first of all, my relationship with Nowaki and my family is none of your business. Second, he is wonderful, yes he is, and of course I’m not ashamed, but you know what, I’m a guy, he’s a guy, which means we’re both guys! I can’t exactly see my parents falling over themselves to welcome him, to-to celebrate the fact that their only son is in love with another son, er, with another man! And fourth… fourth… what? – Oh yeah! Fourth, who said I’d help you? How can you lecture me about telling people, when you’re running around behind everyone’s backs with that brat? What’s holding you back from declaring your love to the world, eh?”

Miyagi rolled his eyes.

“Hmm, well, let me see – you know what, I think my situation is a bit more serious than yours! I can’t exactly tell Shinobu’s parents that I’m dating their son! They’d have a fit!”

“Well, so would mine!”

“Not to quite the same extent, I’m sure! I think the fact that I’m seventeen years older than Shinobu and that I used to be married to his sister would probably make them want to kill me!”

Hiroki stared at Miyagi for a moment.

“Yeah – you’ve got a point there. Not to mention his dad’s your boss. And mine! You’re putting both our careers at risk! What are you thinking?? And for that brat??”

“He’s worth it!”

“To you, maybe! Not to me! I don’t want my career, all my hard work to go to waste! Especially for an annoying, loud-mouthed, rude, obnoxious, childish-”

“Yes, yes, that’s enough, thank you! If you don’t mind _not_ bad-mouthing the person I happen to be in love with…”

“Sorry… Though really, it is true, you know.”

“Hmm, well perhaps a little, but if you got to know him, underneath all that he really is a sweet kid – clever, thoughtful and always well-meaning.”

“Well-meaning isn’t enough if it’s not also well-doing!”

“- And he’s just so _cute!_ And smells so good… And the feel of his skin, so smooth… Mmm…”

This time it was Miyagi’s turn to wander off into dreamy thoughts of his lover, a sickeningly sweet grin sweeping across his face.

Hiroki felt his stomach turn; unsure whether it was from the alcohol or the thought of Miyagi together with that bratty kid, he placed his bet on the latter and filled up his glass to the brim while trying to think of a completely different topic to distract Miyagi away from Shinobu – and away from him and Nowaki.

“So… Matsuo Basho… To be honest, I really think he’s the worst example of a Japanese poet in the entire history of our country!”

Miyagi’s head shot up and his eyes flashed with anger and indignation at the sacrilegious words coming out of his assistant professor’s mouth. Thoughts of Shinobu fled from his head as he geared himself up to spend the next hour explaining exactly why Basho was in fact the greatest poet of all time, not only in Japan, but in the whole world!

*** 

It was after one in the morning when the two Literature professors from Mitsuhashi University staggered through the hotel doors, all but fell into the lift and somehow made their way back to their respective rooms.

Despite the fact that their conversation had eventually veered away from poetry and literature altogether, Miyagi still felt a trace of indignation rearing its head as he remembered how vehemently Hiroki had denounced his most favourite poet.

Stumbling into his room, he slumped against the door, feeling his head reeling from the alcohol. How many bottles of sake had they drunk that night? He couldn’t even remember, but he had a feeling it was too many.

Clutching the wall for support, he staggered further into the room. Now that he was back in his room alone, he suddenly felt lonely. The symposium had been fascinating, but three and a half weeks was feeling like a long time… He couldn’t wait for the next few days to pass so that he could go home again to Shinobu.

Shinobu… His mind flashed back to his earlier conversation with Hiroki, and suddenly a yearning for his lover filled him so completely that before he knew it he was reaching for his phone, bringing up the speed dial for Shinobu’s number.

He remembered the time just before pressing the call button; it was nearly 2am, far too late to be disturbing his lover.

He frowned and exhaled a long breath. As his eyes wandered aimlessly about his room, he caught sight of the tape that he and Shinobu had made poking out of his travel bag. Memories of Shinobu sitting astride him, moaning as he rode him, flashed through his mind, and he jumped up, grabbed the tape and shoved it into the hotel TV.

Settling back on the bed, he switched the television on with the remote and started to watch. His first glimpse was of something new – practically a strip tease, as behind his onscreen arm which was setting up the camera angle, Shinobu was peeling off his clothes, steadily exposing his beautiful body.

Miyagi copied his lover’s actions, hurriedly stripping off his own clothes before settling back down on the bed, not taking his eyes off the images onscreen.

He quickly got hard as he watched his and Shinobu’s bodies move against each other. He grabbed his cock and slowly began to pump lightly as he recalled the feel and taste of his lover as he swallowed him and felt the boy climax beneath him.

He marvelled at how deftly and confidently Shinobu had changed positions and taken control: the boy was becoming bolder every time they made love, which only served to make him even sexier.

Miyagi grunted as on the screen Shinobu ground his hips down against him. His eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open slightly, tongue slipping out to moisten his lips, as he saw his cock poking up Shinobu’s arse, slowly moving in and out, disappearing completely only to re-emerge and plunge in again.

Panting now, his hand on his cock jerked urgently, and he pushed himself forward until he was kneeling, bracing himself on the bed with his free hand. Unconsciously he began to make little thrusting motions with his hips, pushing his cock against his hand.

He was trembling with pleasure and heat, feeling it ripple throughout his body, collecting between his legs. He couldn’t take his eyes off the vision of his lover humping him vigorously, their arms wrapped tight around each other, kissing each other passionately, noisily.

On screen, Shinobu moaned loudly, and Miyagi responded, uttering a deep, guttural groan as he felt his balls tighten. Squeezing his eyes shut, from the television he heard himself and his partner exchange words of love, and his whole body shook as he came, crying out Shinobu’s name, his hand continuing to milk his cock of every drop of cum.

Finally his muscles relaxed and his cock lay limp and spent in his hand. Groping blindly for the remote control to the television, he switched it off, shuffled back across the bed and collapsed. Yanking the covers haphazardly over his body, he reached out his clean hand and turned off the light.

His head still slightly spinning from the effects of the alcohol, he murmured aloud his final thought before drifting off to sleep.

“Shinobu…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of the smut for now... Drama starts next chapter!


	4. Chapter Four

The following morning the sun rose bright and early, peering in through the thin, pale curtains, revealing three members of Mitsuhashi University, all in varying states of health.

The dean awoke even before his alarm rang. Whistling, he threw back the bed covers and swung himself off the bed. Standing up, he yawned and stretched his body, feeling his joints and muscles loosen after a good night’s sleep. Grabbing clean underwear from the chest of drawers, he headed into the en suite bathroom to take a shower before breakfast.

Hiroki hadn’t quite made it into his bed. He had collapsed near the end, at an odd, almost diagonal angle, and as the rising sun disturbed his sleep, his eyes twitched and scrunched up, and he rolled over in an effort to escape the harsh rays of light.

Unfortunately, being so close to the edge meant that he rolled right off the bed, waking up violently upon impact with the floor. Feeling his stomach roil, he just managed to crawl into the bathroom in time to vomit copious amounts of sake into the toilet.

Like the dean, Miyagi had also woken up early. He had found himself naked, caught up in a disagreeably sticky, tangled mess of bed sheets. Groaning, he had managed to disentangle himself and dragged himself into the bathroom to clean up.

He was now sitting in the breakfast hall, nibbling half-heartedly at a piece of plain toast, with a half-drunk glass of fresh orange juice and a cup of steaming coffee before him. He knew he must eat something, but couldn’t bear the thought of either the Japanese or Western style breakfasts the rest of the academics were stuffing themselves on. He had avoided being sick, unlike Hiroki, but nonetheless, his stomach certainly felt delicate and the other scholars, noticing how pale he looked, had generously left him alone to give him space.

He had worked his way through half of the now cold toast when Hiroki appeared, looking far worse than Miyagi did. The assistant professor dropped down into a seat opposite the elder and turned an even deeper shade of green at Miyagi’s offer of food.

They sat quietly for a little while, neither capable of much speech, as Miyagi slowly pushed his way through breakfast and Hiroki tried to will his stomach to settle down.

At last Miyagi had eaten all that he could take, and they joined a couple of academics from Australia who were heading directly over to the conference halls. As they made their way towards the front of the hotel, they heard a commotion coming from the direction of the reception.

“This is unacceptable, completely unacceptable! Look at me, I’m soaked through! Half my things are soaked, water is seeping into the bedroom carpet – I must have another room!”

“Sir, I’m afraid we have no rooms to spare – but of course we’ll get the shower fixed for you and the room cleaned up as soon as possible!”

The professors from M. University stopped short when, rounding the corner, they saw who was making all the noise.

The Dean was arguing with the receptionist, still wearing his pyjamas which were sopping wet. His hair was sticking up in all directions where he had lain on his pillow, although the top was flat against his head where he had been doused with water from his shower. Around his feet was a small puddle – neither Miyagi nor Hiroki could tell whether this had formed from water dripping from his pyjamas or that had seeped out of the two travel bags sitting next to him which were still open, the clothes inside spilling out, and which each bore a waterline at least two inches high from the base.

Both literature professors hurried over to their boss as fast as they were able to given their current physical states.

“Sir, what’s going on? Is there anything Kamijou and I can help with?” Miyagi enquired.

The Dean looked round in surprise.

“Heavens, this is embarrassing. I’m sorry, I’d not meant for you to have to see me in my nightwear! You see, I went for a shower this morning and it broke, I don’t even know how it happened, but it was spraying water everywhere and simply wouldn’t stop. I tried and a couple of other young fellows tried too, but the damned thing is stuck! It’s flooding the room, I’m completely soaked, it’s got all my things wet and the damned staff are useless!”

The Dean turned to glare at the receptionist as he said this last bit, his voice rising as he vented his anger. Miyagi and Hiroki winced in pain as the Dean’s complaints hammered against their ears, each suffering from a severe, alcohol-induced migraine.

“I’ll be amazed if you can get that shower fixed and the carpet, walls and furnishings dry and up to standard by the time I return later! I absolutely insist upon having a decent room, plus compensation for all this trouble! What am I meant to do with my belongings now, hmm? I’m soaking wet and standing around in the middle of this hotel with everyone staring at me as I’m still in my pyjamas, what are you going to do for me??”

The unfortunate young man behind the desk looked rather helpless, as he promised the soggy academic once more that they would get it all sorted and he would find somewhere for him to dry off and change. Of course, he would need to speak to the manager about compensation, but in the meantime if the honoured guest still required a shower, the swimming pool shower room was available…

“ _Swimming pool shower??”_ The Dean now looked irate. “I need a room, a proper place to wash and sleep, not some dingy, chlorine-smelling, communal shower, thank you very much!”

Up ‘til now, Miyagi and Hiroki had been somewhat amused by the Dean’s predicament, particularly as they had never seen him in pyjamas before, although both were careful to disguise their amusement from their boss.

Now, however, to spare the poor employee, Miyagi interjected,

“Sir, why don’t you take your stuff up to my room for now and have a shower there – that way they can also get into your room straight away to get it sorted out. I’m heading off to the lecture hall now anyway, so you won’t be disturbed.”

His kind offer mollified the Dean somewhat.

“Thank you, Miyagi-kun, that’s very nice of you. If you don’t mind, I think I will take you up on your offer. Please do go ahead, both of you – I’ll catch you up a bit later after I’ve got things sorted out here.”

Miyagi handed over his room key to the Dean, then he and Hiroki walked back to the waiting Australians to make their way to the conference hall.

The Dean glared once more at the receptionist and marched self-righteously over to the lift. Dropping his bags on the floor, he jabbed at the buttons and sighed deeply as the doors closed and the lift began to move.

He managed to locate Miyagi’s room without bumping into anyone else, thankfully, sparing him further embarrassment. Opening the door to the suite, he was met by a subtle musky scent mixed with beer. Smiling ruefully, he recalled that Miyagi and Kamijou had been out drinking last night and had both looked rather unwell this morning. Miyagi hadn’t even opened his curtains, and his bedclothes were a jumbled mess.

Still, he was extremely grateful to the man for offering up his room for the time being. Pulling back the curtains to let some light into the room, he opened the window to refresh the air. Shivering slightly at the brush of wind against his damp skin, he hurriedly grabbed a towel and headed into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later he emerged from the bathroom accompanied by a gust of steam. He felt much better after cleaning up in a hot shower. Rummaging around in his bags, he threw piles of damp clothes aside in a search for dry underwear, sighing at the realisation that he would have to do some laundry in the hotel as the clothes couldn’t stay damp until he returned home.

He finally located some clean, dry clothes and, dropping them onto the bed, slowly started to pull a fresh pair of boxers on.

It had been an incredibly humiliating and irritating episode; particularly as it had been right in front of his colleagues and employees. He would have to write a stroppy letter to the hotel manager when he returned home. At the moment he didn’t feel like rejoining the conference and facing everyone just yet. What he needed was something to distract and entertain him.

Looking around, he spotted the remote control to the television on Miyagi’s bedside table. He grabbed it and switched the television on, thinking to flick through the channels and hopefully find something entertaining to watch for half an hour or so before returning to the real world.

He started pulling on his trousers as the machine whirred to life. He was just perching on the edge of the bed, leaning over to tug on a pair of black cotton socks when the unmistakable sounds of sex reached his ears; his eyes opened wide with shock as he heard a bed squeaking and the rhythmic slap of flesh on flesh.

Miyagi had been watching porn! God, his embarrassment was now at an all time high – how was he supposed to look the man in the face after knowing he’d been watching this? And he’d have to rewind the tape to try and get it back to where Miyagi had left it – would he be able to tell?

His heart hammering in his chest, the Dean yanked the already half-on sock over his foot and sat up straight on the bed. He hardly dared to look at the television screen. And still the noises continued, loud moans and panting breath reaching out across the room, assaulting his ears uncontrollably.

And then the Dean heard something unexpected; something so shocking, his head whipped round and he sprang up from the bed, hands reaching out wildly, grasping for the wall, for anything that would offer him support.

He had heard his son’s voice, Shinobu’s voice – and it had called Miyagi’s name.

Now that he had looked, his eyes were fixed on the screen as if glued and he couldn’t tear them away even though the scene before him was horrific.

Miyagi had his son pinned down on a bed; both were naked and Miyagi was between Shinobu’s legs. Miyagi was thrusting, _pounding_ into Shinobu, and the noises they were making… The Dean wished he could block his ears forever – if only he could just stop hearing the sounds coming from the television right now.

It was… disgusting. Despicable. Unnatural. _Illegal._

His legs felt weak, but he couldn’t move. The horrible truth came crashing down around him: Miyagi and Shinobu, his ex-son-in-law and his underage son… How had this happened? Had he pushed them together by foisting Shinobu onto Miyagi whenever he had a problem?

Was Shinobu even lying there willingly?? The usually cool and calm Miyagi was really going for it on the screen, he looked almost out of control, delirious with pleasure – could Shinobu have stopped him if he didn’t want it?

And he had made a tape of it?? How sick, how perverted was the man, that he would seduce his ex-wife’s little brother and record them both together?

When had it taken place?

How long had he been looking the Dean straight in the eye, not blinking, no blushes, no guilt at all over what he had done to his boss’ teenage son?

At last, the Dean’s limbs unfroze and he walked shakily back to the bed and sank down onto the edge of the mattress. Fumbling with the remote control, he finally stopped the hellish video and sat for a long moment with his head in his hands.

He couldn’t stay here. He knew that. There was no way he could face Miyagi right now, no way he could pretend everything was normal. There were only a few days left of the conference and they had already made their contribution; he could leave without lots of awkward questions being asked.

Then what? When he got home, what should he do?

He would make a plan on the way back, he decided. The thought of lingering here, in Miyagi’s room where he could come back at any time, was unbearable. The first thing to do was to get out. It would take a few hours to get back to Tokyo and he could use that time to figure out what to do next.

Suddenly restless, he scrambled to finish getting dressed. No longer caring whether his clothes were wet or dry, he shoved everything haphazardly into his bags and got ready to leave.

Half way to the door he paused. He turned back and quickly ejected the tape from the television, wrapped it in a dry shirt and stuffed it into one of the bags. Then he hurried out of the room, closed the door behind him and made his way down to the reception.

The hotel manager was talking to the same receptionist who had been on duty earlier. The receptionist looked a little strained when he saw the Dean approach. He had obviously spoken to the manager about this particular guest as the man pasted a big, phony smile on his face as he said,

“Ah, Takatsuki-sama, I must apologise a hundred times for all the trouble you have experienced with your shower this morning! I can assure you, we will have it all sor-”

“Huh? Ah, thank you but that’s not necessary!” The Dean interrupted.

He had completely forgotten about the broken shower and flooded room. Without further ado and barely letting the staff get a word in, he handed in Miyagi’s room key and checked himself out of the hotel.

“Oh, and if anyone asks why I’ve left, I’ve got a little family matter to sort out – nothing serious, no need to worry, just something with my, er, daughter!”

He wanted to avoid giving Miyagi any warning that he knew of his affair with Shinobu – though, he reflected, he probably would realise soon enough once he noticed that his filthy tape was gone.

Shuddering at the images flashing through his mind at the thought of the tape, the Dean hurried out of the hotel and flagged down a passing taxi. An hour and a half later, he was sitting in a window seat on the first flight from Hokkaido to Tokyo.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shinobu's mother doesn't appear in the manga, so I've created her here :)

Takatsuki Noriko was sitting at the dining room table, working her way through the sudoku in the daily paper and occasionally sipping at the cup of hot green tea in front of her when she heard a key turn in the front door. Her daughter, Risako, was at work, so she hadn’t been expecting anyone to come by and certainly not to have a key to enter at will.

Feeling curious as well as a little apprehensive, she walked quietly towards the entrance hall, making sure to keep near to the umbrella stand which housed her husband’s umbrella with the heavy handle, in case she needed a weapon.

When the door opened, a look of surprise came over her face. Takatsuki-san, the Dean of Mitsuhashi University, stepped over the threshold and caught sight of his wife.

“What are you doing back so early, dear? I wasn’t expecting you for days yet! Has the symposium already finished?”

The Dean didn’t look happy as he placed his bags down and closed the door behind him.

“No, it’s not finished yet. I decided to come home early,” he replied curtly, his lips pressed thin.

He removed his coat and picked up his bags, moving past his wife into the house. She turned and watched him, startled at his abruptness after not seeing her for almost a month.

“Why did you leave early? Was it not useful or didn’t the other academics like your work? Gosh, I do hope nothing bad has happened!”

The Dean paused and sighed; he had thought long and hard on the flight back from Hokkaido but still hadn’t been able to come up with a plan for how to act on the knowledge he had learned about the nature of Miyagi and Shinobu’s relationship.

However, he knew that whatever happened, he wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret from Noriko – as his wife and Shinobu’s mother, she deserved to know as much as he. Yet he still couldn’t bear to articulate in words what he had seen.

Knowing that what he was doing was unfair, cowardly and deeply unpleasant, he bent down and unzipped his travel bag. Taking out Miyagi’s tape, he straightened up and, not looking his wife directly in the eye, held out the tape for her to take.

“Here – you need to have a look at this. It’s about Shinobu – and Miyagi.”

Noriko took the tape from her husband bewilderedly.

“About Shinobu and Miyagi? What about them? And what’s that got to do with you coming home early? Is Miyagi-kun back already too then?”

The Dean made no reply to her questions; simply turning away, he heaved another sigh and picked up his bags, starting to make his way upstairs to their bedroom. As he went, he said,

“Don’t watch it all, mind you! Just a minute, no more – you’ll understand what I mean when you see it.”

Noriko stood by the front door and watched her husband disappear upstairs, feeling completely confused. She couldn’t understand what all the commotion could possibly be about. She’d seen Shinobu only the other day, made him his favourite dinner. He had seemed perfectly fine. And Miyagi was always a delightful man, such a shame the way his marriage to Risako had turned out. Yet her husband had seemed so dejected – he was obviously weighed down by a great care.

Realising that the only way to get to the bottom of the matter was to watch the video as instructed by her husband, Noriko headed into the living room and switched on the television, setting it up to play the tape.

No sooner had she sat down on the cool leather sofa than she learned what had upset her husband: right before her eyes, Miyagi and Shinobu were writhing around together naked!

Unknowingly imitating her husband’s reactions upon viewing the sex tape, Noriko sat frozen in place, unable to look away from the vision of her youngest child engaging in homosexual sex with his sister’s ex-husband.

She felt herself start to shake as the two men on the screen climaxed in each other’s arms. Moments later they were both asleep.

She sat watching them slumber for several minutes, a look of absolute shock on her face. Her chest felt tight and each breath came short and fast. Her small hands trembled on her knees.

She was just starting to stir, recovering from the initial shock to reach across for the remote control to switch off the television, when Shinobu awoke. Unsure whether it was wise to watch anymore, Noriko hesitated with her hand held over the remote.

Her son had a curious look upon his face as he gazed down at Miyagi’s sleeping form. She watched as he tenderly stroked the older man’s face and leaned in for a soft kiss.

The touch of lips against his woke Miyagi up. Noriko felt some of the shock leave her and curiosity and surprise take its place as the scene unfolded before her.

Miyagi and Shinobu were wrapped in each other’s arms; they clung to each other; teased each other, showed an abundance of affection.

They declared their love to each other. They both spoke earnestly; she saw a look on Miyagi’s face that she had never seen before, not even when he had looked at his own wife, her daughter Risako.

And Shinobu, her beloved son, looked happy.

For a moment, overwhelmed by the emotions conveyed between the two men, Noriko forgot what she had first witnessed. But then, when Miyagi and Shinobu stood up to leave the room, she snapped back to reality and realised all over again: they were _naked_ , they were _both men_ , Shinobu was _underage and half the age of the other man_ , not to mention that Miyagi was _his sister’s ex-husband!_

Rising from her seat, she promptly removed the tape from the television and went to find her husband. They needed to have a serious conversation.

***

Shinobu was bored. He’d had enough of living by himself over the past few weeks; he missed Miyagi.

He had spent the previous night in Miyagi’s bed, yet it held only a faint allure for him now. Miyagi’s scent, which had been such a comfort to him at first, now barely lingered, and without Miyagi there beside him, the bed felt too large and cold.

He had withdrawn to his own apartment in the morning and was now lolling about on the sofa, peering at one of the literature books Miyagi had given him to study. He had propped the book up against his left leg, holding it open with one hand while he ran the other gently through his honey-coloured hair. His right foot tapped out a light rhythm on the floor.

He had been reading for perhaps forty minutes when there came a knock at the door. Surprised as he didn’t get many visitors, Shinobu pulled himself up off the sofa and went to unlock the door.

His parents stood on the other side.

“Dad! What are you doing here? Aren’t you meant to be at that conference?”

“Shinobu… Can you let us in please?” the Dean replied.

Shinobu frowned, confused, and stepped aside to make room for his parents to enter.

“Do you want tea or anything? Shall I take your coats?” he offered hospitably.

“No, thank you. This isn’t a social call – Shinobu, we need you to pack a few things and come home with us,” his father replied, turning to face him with a grave expression.

Shinobu stared.

“What? Why? What are you talking about?”

“There’s an issue with the apartment – we’ve just had a call from the estate agents. You needn’t worry, sweetheart, but you need to move back home while they get people in to sort it out. Just pack up a few things for now; we can come back if you find you need anything else,” his mother reassured.

Shinobu was now thoroughly confused. Why hadn’t the estate agents also called him if there was a problem? He hadn’t even been aware of any issues, and if it was a building-wide problem, surely everyone would have been contacted to leave - including Miyagi, and he’d said nothing about this to him.

Shinobu felt a sudden pang. Miyagi – he would be home again in a few days and now Shinobu wouldn’t be there to greet him…

“I don’t understand… What’s the problem with the apartment? I haven’t noticed anything!”

The Dean was losing patience; he was desperate to get Shinobu away as soon as possible.

“Look, Shinobu, we’ll explain when we get home, ok! Just get on and get some things together! Come on, now!”

He opened up a large duffel bag which he had brought with him and marched into Shinobu’s bedroom. Pulling open the drawers in the dresser, he started scooping up his son’s clothes and stuffing them into the bag.

Shinobu followed hot on his heels. He exclaimed with indignation at his father’s treatment of his belongings.

“Hey! If you’re going to force me out of here without even a decent explanation, you could at least let me get my own stuff together and not just go around shoving everything around and messing it up!”

“Fine!” his father retorted. “Here’s the bag – get your things. I’ll be waiting with your mother, we’re leaving in five minutes.”

Shinobu frowned, even more bewildered. His father was behaving very oddly, almost aggressively even. It was hard to believe that this was just something to do with the apartment – unless… Well, he couldn’t think of anything that he’d done to cause any trouble with the landlord or estate agents. He made sure the place was clean and had managed not to burn it down!

Scrambling around, he gathered everything he thought he would need for the next few days, conscious of the time limit his father had imposed. From the way his parents were behaving, he felt quite sure that they wouldn’t let him return to pick up forgotten items – maybe it was a security issue with the flat? Carbon monoxide was clear and odourless, wasn’t it? Something like that would explain why he hadn’t noticed the problem himself.

A few minutes later, his mother knocked on the bedroom door and peered round. Shinobu zipped up the duffel bag, nodded to his mother and followed her out of the room.

Was it his imagination, or had she avoided his eye?

The drive back to the Takatsuki residence was mostly silent. Shinobu’s attempts to find out what was wrong with his apartment were once again met by his father’s gruff reply that they would explain later.

When he tried to prolong the conversation and asked how the conference had gone and whether Miyagi’s research was well received, the only response he received was a grim silence.

Shinobu scowled; his father was never normally like this – usually he was very chatty, and Shinobu was the quiet one. He couldn’t understand why his father seemed to be in such a foul mood.

He gave up trying to make conversation and spent the rest of the journey looking out of the window and letting his mind drift back to pleasant thoughts of Miyagi.

When they finally let themselves into the family home, the door had barely closed before the Dean rushed off in the direction of his home office.

“Hey!” Shinobu yelled, “Don’t go disappearing! Aren’t you going to tell me what all this is about??”

His father made no reply, but shut and locked the door to his office behind him.

Shinobu turned to his mother. She quickly looked away from him and started walking towards the kitchen.

“Sweetheart, we’ll talk about it later, but right now I’ve got to clean the kitchen and plan the dinner! It needs to be ready for when Risako gets home from work! Why don’t you go and drop off your stuff upstairs and make yourself at home?”

Shinobu stood in the entrance hall, staring after his fleeing parents’ backs. Frowning, he shrugged his shoulders, grabbed the duffel bag and slowly began lugging it upstairs to his old bedroom.

This was a very odd situation… Somehow he had a bad feeling that something was terribly wrong…


	6. Chapter Six

The day had proceeded slowly for both Miyagi and Hiroki; it wasn’t that the lectures by their esteemed colleagues had been boring, but rather that after fewer than six hours of sleep and with very unsettled stomachs and painful, throbbing migraines, neither man felt particularly inclined to listen to endless speeches or be required to think in any depth. 

At last, about five o’clock, the conference came to an end for the day and the two made their way back to the hotel slowly, surreptitiously trying to avoid getting into conversation with the other scholars on the way home. They stumbled onwards, saying little, Hiroki giving occasional sighs and rubbing his uncomfortable stomach gently.

As they neared the hotel, Hiroki finally broke the silence.

“Hey, did you see the Dean? I don’t think I saw him at the conference at all.”

Miyagi snorted. “No, and I’m not that surprised. It must’ve been pretty embarrassing for him this morning. I wouldn’t have been too surprised if he bunked off for the day. Anyway, I think we could all probably do with a day off like that, it’s been an intense few weeks. Even on our days off we’ve been running all over the place sightseeing. I know I for one cannot wait to have a day where I literally don’t have to do a thing!”

“I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, that’s probably what’s happened to him.” Hiroki acknowledged. “Between you and me, I’d never pictured the Dean as the kind to wear cutesy panda pyjamas! Wonder if he chose them or his wife.” He grinned.

The pair lapsed back into silence. They rounded the corner and spotted the hotel ahead of them. After picking up their room keys at reception, by unspoken agreement they headed straight for the lift and parted when Hiroki got off at his floor.

Miyagi turned the key in his door, grateful that the Dean wasn’t still hanging around in his room. The maid had been in to tidy up; the bed had been made up with fresh, clean sheets and there was a faint smell of cleaning product emanating from the bathroom.

Exhausted, Miyagi dropped down onto the bed, closed his eyes and exhaled a deep breath, massaging his temples with the tips of his fingers. Covering his eyes with one arm, he drifted off into a light sleep.

He stirred half an hour later when his arm grew numb from the awkward position. Slowly sitting up, he grabbed the bottle of water that he kept by the side of the bed and took a swig, swirling the water around in his mouth. Replacing the cap, he returned the bottle to the bedside table, stood up and stretched. He pulled off his tie and untucked his shirt from his trousers.

He felt a little bored; too ill to venture outside and explore the city or mingle with the other academics, for once he also didn’t feel like reading.

He switched on the television and flicked aimlessly through the channels, but nothing interesting was showing. He turned the machine off again and flopped back against the pillows.

All of a sudden, he suddenly remembered the tape – the sex tape that he had made with Shinobu. Hadn’t he watched it last night? And hadn’t he left it in the television?

With a sickening feeling, he sat up and reached again for the remote control.

What if the Dean had wanted to watch a little TV??

Turning the television on once more, he pressed the button to switch to the video function.

Nothing happened. A button appeared in the top right corner, saying, ‘No Tape Inserted’.

Miyagi’s heart pounded as he jumped to his feet and bounded over to the machine. Lifting the flap where last night he had inserted the sex tape, he peered into the machine. It looked empty. He thrust his hand into the hole, just in case it would be able to feel what his eyes hadn’t seen.

Still there was nothing.

He felt panic rising inside him, thoughts racing blindly through his head.

Where was it? WHERE WAS IT?? Had he taken it out, had he left it somewhere? He’d been drunk last night, maybe he had just forgotten.

He frantically ransacked the room, emptying his suitcase, dumping the contents of drawers onto the bed; still he couldn’t find the tape anywhere.

At last, his hands shaking, his heart hammering, he sat down on the edge of the bed and dropped his head into his hands. He had to face the inevitable.

The tape was gone. He had had it last night, he had left it in the television and now it wasn’t there – and the only other person who would have looked at the television or taken the tape was the Dean. His boss. Shinobu’s father.

Shit, he thought.

***

Shinobu was growing more and more frustrated. He had the unsettling feeling that his parents were avoiding him; he had tried to approach each of them a couple of times during the day, but both had continuously fobbed him off, and still he hadn’t managed to find out why he had been forced to abandon his apartment and move back home.

After the final failed attempt to get an answer from his parents, he had stomped up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door in irritation. He had just flopped down on his bed, feeling even more bored than when he had been in his own apartment, when his mobile rang. His heart fluttered when he saw the caller’s name on his phone.

“Hey, old man. This is a nice surprise!”

He frowned when he heard Miyagi’s frantic voice as he answered,

“Shinobu, something terrible has happened! I think your dad may have found the tape we made!”

Shinobu sat bolt upright, eyes wide.

“WHAT??”

“I know, I know! I was watching it last night and left it in the TV and he had to borrow my room this morning – now I can’t find it! I’ve looked everywhere, I swear literally everywhere, the room looks like a typhoon’s hit it but the damned tape isn’t here! Fuck! Ah, look, don’t worry yourself too much, hopefully he’s not seen what’s on it… I’ve not seen him since he went up to my room, but I’ll find him, I’ll get the tape back as soon as possible, I’ll sort it all out, I promise!”

Shinobu closed his eyes, feeling sick to his stomach. It all made sense now, his dad’s strange behaviour. Softly, he replied,

“No, Miyagi… It’s too late, he’s already seen it.”

“Huh? How do you know?”

“Because he’s here – he came home early, he made me move home. He didn’t say why, just that there was a problem with the apartment, but why else would he be acting so strangely?”

Miyagi was silent on the end of the phone for a few moments.

“He made you move out?” he asked sadly. “This isn’t over yet, Shu-chin – we don’t know how much he’s seen or knows, and I’m not going to give you up without a fight. I’ll get this sorted – it’s my fault we’re in this mess now. We’d been so careful, and I’ve blown it all!”

Shinobu tried to comfort his lover, even as he felt his own panic and despair rising.

“Miyagi, don’t blame yourself! It’s not like you meant this to happen. Besides, it was bound to all come out sometime. We both made the decision to make the tape, evidence like that was always going to be a risk. And I’ve waited years to be with you, I’ll never give you up. But maybe I should try and find out if he has definitely got the tape – we don’t know 100% for sure, could be we’re worrying for nothing.”

Miyagi smiled sadly at Shinobu’s last words.

“Sure, Shu-chin, if you can get hold of that tape before he sees it, we’re saved! But I won’t hold out much hope. I’m going to get my stuff together and get the next plane to Tokyo. I’ll let you know when I get there, keep me updated.”

“Will do.” Shinobu promised and hung up.

He sat on the edge of his bed and fought to keep the fear from taking over. Was this it? Was this the end for him and Miyagi? He couldn’t see his father welcoming Miyagi with open arms as his son’s lover.

Finally he stood up and moved purposefully towards the door. There was no point sitting around wondering; he had to find out if his father knew about them; he had to find that tape!

His second objective, it turned out, was completed very quickly. Pausing in the corridor outside his bedroom, he heard the cheers from a popular game show his mother enjoyed watching coming from the living room; he was just able to make out over the show the sound of his father’s voice as he spoke on the telephone.

Having ascertained that both his parents were downstairs, he crept into their bedroom to see if his father had unpacked yet.

He had; the Dean’s travel bags had been pressed flat and were currently sitting in the corner of the bedroom ready to be stored away. His clothes, mostly still damp, had already been placed in the hamper to be washed.

But the object Shinobu sought was sitting in full view on top of his parents’ dresser. He darted forward and grabbed the tape, ducking out of the room and shutting himself once more in his own bedroom.

Clutching the tape to his chest, he breathed hard and walked over to the small television set his parents had bought him for his sixteenth birthday. He had to check that this was the right tape.

He inserted the tape and switched the television on, turning the volume down until it was silent. He rewound the tape a bit and pressed play.

It was the sex tape: before his eyes, he and Miyagi were desperately making love, panting heavily between hot kisses. He felt his body start to stir as he watched the hungry look on Miyagi’s face, and quickly turned the TV off before things got out of control.

Well, now he knew that his father at least must have seen the tape. He had brought it back all the way from Hokkaido, and from the way his mother hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes, Shinobu presumed that she had seen it too, though just how much of it they had seen, he didn’t know.

In trepidation, he padded softly down the stairs and silently entered the living room. The Dean had joined his wife once he had finished his phone call, and they were now watching the final contestant in her bid to win 500,000 yen.

Shinobu sidled into the room and sank down into the remaining armchair, tensely waiting for the programme to finish. His parents too seemed to grow tense.

As the credits started, Shinobu caught sight of his father hastily making a move to leave the room, and without really thinking what he should say, blurted out,

“So, if there’s a problem with the flat, Miyagi’s right next door, it could affect him too! Shouldn’t we offer him to stay here while the problem gets sorted?”

His mother and father both stared at him. Nervously he continued,

“After all, it’s only polite – it’d be rude to leave him in a bad or dangerous situation. Plus, it’d be convenient, you two can go to work together. I know there’s not a lot of spare space, but he can always sleep on the sofa, or even in my room, I don’t mind sharing.”

“WHAT??” the Dean spat, eyes bulging at Shinobu’s bold suggestion to have his older lover sleep in his bedroom alongside him.

Shinobu looked up at him tentatively.

“What’s the matter? I’m just trying to be helpful! You two haven’t fallen out, have you?”

“Shinobu,” his mother began, “There’s nothing wrong with Miyagi-kun’s apartment, he doesn’t need to stay here–”

“Absolutely not!!” The Dean burst out, interrupting his wife. “I will NOT have that man in my house! And certainly not anywhere near YOU, Shinobu!”

He had tried, he really had tried to hold it back; but the Dean had been struggling with his feelings of anger, horror and shock all afternoon and even though he had avoided his son as much as possible and shut himself away for hours, the feelings hadn’t dissipated – rather they had increased.

He couldn’t help himself now. He felt himself swelling with anger, and it was all focussed on his son in front of him. He bore down on the boy, shouting,

“How dare you! How DARE you mention that man’s name, how dare you sit there brazenly suggesting that he sleep in the same room as you! Have you no _shame_ , Shinobu?? I know all about the two of you, I’ve seen your filth with my own eyes! It’s a DISGRACE!”

Shinobu sat frozen in his seat; waves of anger rolled off his father and it felt almost as if they were physically slapping him across the face. He had never seen the man in such a rage; for the first time in his life, he felt truly frightened of his father.

“D-dad,” he stuttered, “it’s not what you think…”

“Not what I think?? How could that possibly be, Shinobu? How can you possibly explain how you came to be – _rutting –_ yourself against your sister’s husband??”

“EX-husband!” Shinobu shot back defensively.

“Do you honestly think that makes it any better? He belonged to your sister, he’s twice your age! What the HELL were you thinking? And do you even know how we came to find out? The disgusting pervert _taped_ you, did you even know about that?”

“He’s not disgusting, or a pervert!” Shinobu shouted, rising to his feet and facing his father, his face now bright red with anger as he defended his lover.

“Oh yes he is!” the Dean roared back. “Only a sick man would take advantage of an underage boy like you!”

“He _didn’t_ take advantage of me! _I_ was the one who chased him! I love him!” Shinobu shrieked.

His parents stared at him in shock. Slowly, his father stepped close to him and warned him in a quiet, threatening voice,

“Shinobu, you take that back. Take that back now! Miyagi is your sister’s husband! I don’t want to hear another word about this ridiculous nonsense! You had better stay away from him – I don’t want you ever to see that wretched man again! In fact, I FORBID IT!”

Shinobu stared at his father’s furious, red face and trembled. He suddenly felt terribly cold.

A pained cry wrenched itself from his lips and he fled the room, tears clouding his eyes. He took the stairs two at a time and, reaching the top, he flung himself into his room, slammed the door and sagged back against it. Sliding to the floor, he rested his head on his arms and sobbed.

He didn’t know how long he remained like that. He couldn’t move, could hardly breathe as the sobs wracked his chest. His cries permeated the door, reaching downstairs to his parents’ ears, but the Dean merely gritted his teeth and firmly shut the door to the living room, blocking out the sounds.

Noriko sat in an armchair staring at the television, though not really watching it. The whole matter had gone terribly, her husband’s outburst ruining the plan they had made earlier. She no longer had a clue what to do, but even with the door closed, she knew that her baby was upstairs crying his eyes out, and, while she didn’t approve of his relationship with Miyagi, knowing that Shinobu was so upset broke her heart.

The whole situation was a huge mess.

Eventually Shinobu’s sobs calmed down, leaving him with hiccups as silent tears streaked down his cheeks. He rested his head against the wall. He was fully prepared to defend Miyagi, to fight for their love for one another, but his father’s forceful behaviour, the terrible expression of rage on his face haunted his thoughts and made him tremble with fear. What if their love, as great as it was, still wasn’t enough to convince his family and keep them together? Would his father really insist on forcing them apart?

Suddenly, his phone started ringing. Jumping up, he grabbed it from his bed and answered, hearing Miyagi’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey, Shinobu-chin, I’ve just got in to Narita airport. Did you find anything more out from your dad?”

Shinobu couldn’t answer; instead, his body shook once more with little sobs. Miyagi heard the small gasps and instantly grew worried.

“Shinobu, what is it? Love, what’s happened??”

“I-I spoke t-to m-my d-dad,” Shinobu managed to get out. “T-they’ve s-seen t-the t-t-tape. Won’t l-let m-m-me see y-you again. F-forbid it.”

“What?!” Miyagi’s heart pounded as his fears were realised. “Shinobu, are you still at your parents’ house?”

“Uh-huh…"

“Ok, don’t move! I’m coming round there right now!”

Hoisting his bag over his shoulder, Miyagi kept his phone pressed to his ear as he jogged towards the taxi stand.

“O-ok,” Shinobu replied. “Miyagi, I love you!”

“I love you too, Shinobu-chin.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a short chapter, I'm afraid!

It took forty five minutes for the taxi to take Miyagi from the airport to the Takatsuki residence. Shinobu saw him arrive; from the moment he had hung up the phone, he had sat next to his bedroom window, staring into the night, waiting for Miyagi to come and claim him.

When he saw Miyagi emerge from the taxi and lean over to pay the driver, he jumped up and dashed out of his room, flying down the stairs. He flung open the front door just as Miyagi was reaching up to knock.

Miyagi was shocked at the sight of his lover. Shinobu’s face was blotchy and his eyes red from crying so hard. The tips of his fringe were damp where they had fallen into his eyes and the rest of his hair was mussed where he had grabbed or pulled it. There were dark patches on his shirt where his tears had soaked into the fabric.

They looked at it each other for just a moment. Then Miyagi stepped forward into the house and Shinobu, giving a small, pitiful whine, threw himself into his lover’s arms.

Miyagi’s arms clutched Shinobu tight against his body. He had missed him and had been looking forward so much to holding him after so long apart, but in the current circumstances he was even more desperate, and held onto the boy so tightly it was almost painful.

Shinobu buried his tear-stained face in Miyagi’s chest and wallowed in the familiar, comforting, masculine scent. He could feel his body start to tremble once more as he squeezed his arms around Miyagi’s waist as hard as he could.

A door opened behind them. Muttering darkly about a cold draught in the house, the Dean stomped moodily out, then stopped abruptly as he caught sight of Miyagi and Shinobu embracing in the doorway.

Miyagi looked at him and his face turned white. The Dean looked as though he was about to boil over with rage. Prising Shinobu’s arms from his waist, he shut the front door and pulled Shinobu backwards until he was standing behind him, shielding the boy from his father.

The Dean had calmed down a little after the earlier episode; but now, seeing Miyagi standing in his doorway, molesting his son all over again, his rage returned.

“Get your filthy hands off my son!” he whispered icily.

Miyagi licked his lips and tried to find a light, persuasive tone as he replied,

“Now, look, sir – I know what it must seem like and I agree, it’s not the best situation, but if you’ll just listen to me–”

“Why the hell should I listen to you? So you can try to charm me like you seduced my son??”

“It wasn’t like that!” Shinobu insisted, trying to push passed Miyagi’s restraining arm.

Behind the Dean, another figure emerged as Noriko came to investigate the noise in the hallway. Seeing Miyagi, she stopped and blushed. Catching sight of Shinobu standing behind his lover, she said,

“Come here, Shinobu – you know what your father said earlier. Come away from Miyagi-kun.”

“No!” Shinobu refused. “I’m not leaving him – I told you, I love him! And he loves me, we’re just a normal couple, we’re not doing anything wrong! You should be happy that I’ve found someone who genuinely loves me and cares for me!”

“Who you’ve found, Shinobu, is someone _completely_ inappropriate!” his father retorted. “If you were lonely, you should have come to us, we would have helped you find a nice girl, someone your own age – who hasn’t previously married into the family!”

“That’s not Miyagi’s fault! He always treated Risako right, she’s the one who betrayed him! How can you punish him for her infidelity?!”

“Sir!” Miyagi interjected. “I am aware that there are lots of issues with me being with Shinobu – believe me, I’ve thought about them, worried about them a million times over! But you must trust me when I say I love Shinobu, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, including Risako – I’m sorry but it’s true, she and I should never have married. But I love your son and I’ll take good care of him for as long as he’ll have me. I don’t want to be a burden on him – if there ever comes a time when I’m getting in his way, I’ll do the right thing and free him. But right now, he’s happy – he’s happy with me. That’s all I want, just to be with him and make him happy. What more would you want for him?”

The Dean listened to Miyagi’s declaration silently, his lips pursed as if he were tasting something bitter. His eyes narrowed as he looked his employee in the eye and replied,

“How about a chance to get married, to have a wife? How about children? Can you give him those things, Miyagi? Can you bear his children?! No, of course not! Instead of giving him new life, instead you’ll just end up sucking his life out of him! You don’t want to be a burden? Yet when he’ll still be young enough to enjoy life, you’d have him pinned down, forced to take care of his elderly partner!”

“No – if it ever came to that, I’d willingly let him go, no matter how I felt at my own loss!”

“You’re both talking rubbish!” Shinobu cried. “I don’t _want_ a wife, dad! Why do I have to want kids? Not everyone does, you know! I’ve never been interested in girls, but I’ve loved Miyagi since the moment I met him – don’t keep me away from him on the pretence of it being good for me, because it’s not!”

“Love at first sight? Are you an idiot, Shinobu?! Such things don’t exist! Only children believe in love at first sight – but, oh wait, I forgot – you are still a child! Not even legally an adult, and this man has bewitched and corrupted you – a man twice your age like him should know and act better!”

“I’m not a child, dad! I’m nineteen, I live on my own, I’m not at school anymore! And in any case, this isn’t some silly whim,” Shinobu shouted, fists clenched at his side.

In all the commotion, no-one heard the front door open behind them, nor did they notice a petite, dark-haired woman step inside the house.

“I’ve loved Miyagi for ages, and since we’ve been together, I’ve only grown to love him more!”

Risako stared in shock as before her eyes her younger brother shouted out his love for her ex-husband; as the two men reached out and clasped each other’s hands, lacing their fingers together tightly, she just managed to splutter,

“What the hell is going on?!”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, in this story I have spelled Miyagi's first name 'You' - I have seen it spelled either 'You' or 'Yoh' elsewhere - admittedly 'Yoh' may be less confusing so I probably will use that in future fics. Hopefully it makes sense here in the places where it's his name rather than the 2nd person pronoun 'you' (as in I, you, he/she/it etc)... Sorry :/

Risako’s heart started to beat faster as she stared at the sad and angry faces of her family and her ex-husband in front of her. Her eyes were drawn irresistibly back to Miyagi’s and Shinobu’s clasped hands, still clutching each other tightly.

“Would someone please tell me what on earth is going on? Shinobu… You… What are you doing?”

Her face grew hot as she realised everyone was staring at her.

“Your brother and your ex-husband–” the Dean began, in a dark voice.

“Risako! You’re home early!” Noriko interrupted. Pasting a thin smile on her face, she moved to her daughter, purposely pushing her way between Miyagi and Shinobu, breaking apart their hands. Taking her daughter’s arm, she guided her towards the kitchen.

“Come on, dinner should be ready, I’ve done your favourite, sweatheart! Won’t you help me dish it up?”

Risako followed her mother dumbly for a moment, still confused as to what was going on. She twisted around to look back again at her brother; he was staring steadfastly at the floor, his face flushed red up to the tips of his ears. As she watched, Miyagi reached out his hand and brushed a few strands of blond hair behind Shinobu’s ear, before sliding his hand down the boy’s back to rest at his waist.

The gentle gesture shocked Risako with its intimacy and she halted suddenly. Her mother looked anxiously at her and tried to pull her away, but she wouldn’t budge.

Something hard had lodged itself in the back of Risako’s throat, a solid lump that she couldn’t swallow. Miyagi had never touched her like that, not in three years of marriage.

The words she had heard as she entered the house came back to her: her brother shouting that he loved Miyagi. Now her ex-husband was touching him, holding him so tenderly. She fixed her eyes on the man she had once loved.

“You, what have you done to my brother? I’m not moving from this spot until someone tells me what’s going on here!”

Miyagi pressed his lips together and slowly raised his head and met his ex-wife’s eyes. The secret was out, there was no point denying it now. Softly, he answered,

“I’m sorry, Risako… What’s going on is that… Shinobu and I have fallen in love with each other.”

After what she had just seen and heard, the words weren’t a complete surprise for Risako; still, they fell like a blow on her ears.

“What?” she whispered. “What do you mean, you’ve fallen in love?”

Miyagi looked pained. Saying nothing, he dropped his eyes, focussing on a spot on the floor to the left of his ex-wife. Still, his grip on his lover’s waist only grew tighter.

“For three years I tried to get you to love me! Do you know how hard I tried? Do you have any idea how much I had loved you? Only to get nothing but coldness and indifference back! Always, always it was that old _Sensei_ of yours! Do you know how draining it was being your wife? And when I finally found someone who could love me back, I was the one who took all the blame for our failed marriage! And now what? You say you’ve fallen in love with someone else, just like that? And not just anyone else, but with my _brother_?? What about your precious Sensei, You? I wasn’t good enough for you, but you can forget all about her for my little brother? Since when were you even gay?? You never gave an inkling of having that kind of preference, at least that part of our marriage was something you always showed an interest in!”

Shinobu’s head shot up at Risako’s allusion to her sex life with Miyagi. His lover tried to reassure him by stroking his fingers gently against his side, before once again facing his ex-wife and, taking a deep breath, tried to keep his voice steady as he replied,

“I know, Risako, I know all that. I know I was a bad husband. It’s true, I never was able to get over Sensei, no matter who I dated – until I met Shinobu. It’s not that I ever deliberately set out to hurt you, now or when we were married. Hell, I never intended or expected to fall for Shinobu! It’s a whole new experience for me to be with another man! But, it’s not about him being male or female, nor how old he is or what family he’s from. It’s about who he is and how we make each other feel. He makes me happy, Risako – happier than I’ve been for twenty years! And I cannot give that up, I will not lose him. I hope you can understand – and I hope you do find someone to be with who truly loves and deserves you, the way that I never could.”

“What a touching speech!” the Dean sneered. “Now I realise why you’re a literature professor, what a way with words you have! But you’re wrong if you think that any of us are going to stand by and let you have your way, using and then discarding Shinobu as you see fit!”

Miyagi’s head snapped round to look at his boss as he bore down on the pair of lovers, who were still so desperately clinging to one another.

“I am not _using_ him, _sir_!” Miyagi practically shouted, fighting not to lose his temper with his boss. “What do I have to do to make you realise that I love Shinobu??”

The Dean paused. “If you love him, you’ll do what’s best for him – you’ll leave him alone!”

Miyagi stared at his boss.

“And if I refuse?”

“Then I have no choice – Shinobu comes first, I have to protect my son. Not that I ever envisaged the day when I would have to protect him from another man, especially you…” The Dean hesitated, a look of sad disappointment briefly crossing his face. He had genuinely liked Miyagi, how had it come to this?

“This repulsive _fling_ you’ve got going on, this sordid little affair – you will end it now. Miyagi, you will stay away from my son, I forbid you ever to see him again! Obviously I can’t keep you on at the university – how can I trust that you won’t run off with one of the students?! Apparently you’re into kids that age! And if I ever find out that you and Shinobu have been carrying on behind my back again – I’ll summon the police and have you put away – I have that disgusting tape as evidence!”

Miyagi and Shinobu both turned white at the Dean’s words. Shinobu started shaking again in Miyagi’s arms as he faced his father.

“You can’t do that – I love him, dad!”

“No, you do _not_ , Shinobu! One day you’ll come to realise just how mistaken you are!”

“I’ll never change my mind…”

“I’ve warned you, Shinobu – I can and I _will_ inform the police if you do not put a stop to this now!”

Shinobu’s eyes brimmed with tears; still, he could never put Miyagi in harm’s way. He steeled himself and turned a resigned face up to his father. Calmly, he said,

“… Then, if I agree – you have to promise not to fire Miyagi, you have to guarantee that he can keep his job!”

Miyagi looked at Shinobu hard.

“Shu-chin, that doesn’t matter – ”

“Yes, it does,” his lover insisted. “I know you, Miyagi, your job means the world to you!”

“Yes, I love my job, that’s true,” Miyagi acknowledged. “But I love you more, Shinobu-chin. I don’t want to lose you.”

Shinobu turned his face up to Miyagi’s, his eyes swimming with tears.

“I won’t let you go to jail – and I can’t stand by and watch you lose everything you love, Miyagi.” He turned back to his father.

“Well, dad?” he asked, his voice breaking slightly. “If I promise to stay away from Miyagi, will you leave him alone? Will you let him keep his job?”

The Dean hesitated, surprised at his son’s sudden surrender.

“Well… I have to protect the students at the university too, Shinobu…”

Miyagi rounded on him furiously, full of fear at the thought that he was about to lose Shinobu for good, his arms tightening around the boy's waist, pulling him even closer against his chest.

“For God’s sake! I’m not interested in any of the students, I’ve never laid a hand on them and I have absolutely no intention of doing so! The only person I’m interested in is Shinobu! And I told you, whatever you do to me, I won’t give him up!”

The Dean stared angrily back at his employee, shocked that Miyagi would talk to him in such a manner.

Shinobu’s eyes grew round and he quickly turned to his father, anxious that he would carry out his threat to have Miyagi arrested.

“Well? Do you accept the deal? Will you let him go safely and keep his job if we split up?? Dad!”

“Fine!” his father spat. “Just get the hell away from him! And you –” he said, glaring at Miyagi, “You leave now, I don’t want to see your face anymore! You stay away from my son, don’t you dare breathe a word of any of this at work! You get your job done properly and quietly and you stay away from me as much as possible, do you hear?!”

Miyagi stared at his employer, breathing hard, his heart pounding. Heartbroken, he looked sadly down at his now ex-lover.

“Shinobu…” he whispered.

Shinobu didn’t look up. He was shaking violently, his hands clapped over his mouth as silent tears slid down his cheeks. As Miyagi slowly turned and opened the front door to leave his lover behind for the last time, Shinobu darted forward and grabbed him. Pulling his shoulder, he spun him around and leaned up on his toes, kissing Miyagi hard on the mouth. The kiss lasted only a second and, breaking apart, Shinobu pushed Miyagi out the door, little sobs escaping his lips.

Slamming the door shut, Shinobu leaned against it, crying gently. Hearing his father’s footsteps behind him, he felt a hand reach out and clasp his shoulder. Twisting violently, he pulled himself out of his father’s grasp and raced up the stairs to his room, leaving his family still stunned at the events that had unfolded.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter today :)

The rest of the Takatsuki family barely saw Shinobu for the rest of that weekend. He holed himself up in his bedroom and only emerged to eat or use the bathroom. He made no noise, although Noriko, who had taken to standing outside his room periodically, caught the quiet sound of weeping several times. Troubled, she pressed her hand gently against the door to her son’s room, sensing that if she entered and tried to comfort him, he would only reject her.

On Monday, Shinobu arose as usual, ate a proper breakfast and left for his university lectures. He was dressed smartly enough, in a pair of dark trousers and a thin, light brown shirt that complemented the colour of his hair.

At the end of the day, he returned on time, sat quietly with his family at dinner and ate everything that was on his plate. The atmosphere was still tense, but his parents attempted to make light conversation and he answered politely, though briefly, whenever anyone addressed him.

In the evening, he completed his homework in his bedroom and went to bed at a reasonable hour.

And so passed the rest of the week. Noriko no longer heard her son crying when she hovered outside his room; the Dean, bumping into him in the hallway on the way to the bathroom, noted that his eyes were clear and his face bore no signs of blotchiness.

And yet, while naturally quite taciturn, Shinobu was even more silent than usual. He did everything he was supposed to, his studying, his chores, without delay and without complaint; yet instead of the shaking, sobbing mess who had clung so desperately to his older lover, he had become numb, lifeless, almost going about his day robotically, neither pain nor joy showing on his face, only a plain, expressionless mask.

***

Hiroki had got his wish: Miyagi now left him alone. His superior no longer touched or teased him; he didn’t pester him about Nowaki; he didn’t dump all his work onto the assistant professor.

This should have been an improvement, Hiroki reflected. However, it was overshadowed by the concern he felt for his boss. Sure, Miyagi could be a pain in the arse, and he liked to pretend that he felt only disdain for the man who, despite his years, could still be such a child. But he had always held the greatest respect for Miyagi’s work and Miyagi didn’t really have to hassle him for too long to persuade him to go for a drink with him – in truth, when he wasn’t being molested or the butt of Miyagi’s jokes, Hiroki actually found the man quite entertaining.

All that had stopped very suddenly a few weeks ago. Returning to Tokyo and the university from the conference (from which Miyagi and the Dean had both so suddenly disappeared), Hiroki had found his boss in a terrible state. He had never seen him like this, not even when his wife had run off with another man.

He had been surprised to arrive on the Monday morning and find Miyagi already at his desk – Hiroki usually was the first to arrive, settling into the office normally at least a good half hour before Miyagi came in.

The man had barely grunted when Hiroki greeted him. He made no response to the assistant professor’s attempts to determine why he had abandoned him at the symposium. When he finally caught a glimpse of Miyagi’s face, he was shocked. The man looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept for days. There was an aura of despondency about him; Hiroki started to feel that simply being in the office with him was draining, the usually cheerful and carefree man now smothering any positive atmosphere with waves of despair and sorrow.

It made Hiroki uncomfortable, seeing his boss in such a vulnerable state. They sat working in silence, Hiroki cringing at the slightest sound; except for the rustle of papers, the office was as silent as a graveyard. When Hiroki finally had to interrupt Miyagi to borrow his stapler, the words slipped from his mouth in a whisper, and Miyagi stared at him with big, sad eyes in surprise and confusion.

Hiroki could think of only one thing that could have affected his boss in such a drastic manner.

His suspicions were eventually confirmed; after a few days of silence, when he confronted Miyagi about his odd behaviour for the third time, Miyagi finally gave in.

“We broke up…” he admitted, trying hard to stay focussed on the pile of essays before him.

Hiroki took a deep breath.

“… I see. I wondered if it might be something like that. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked nervously, unsure if he would be able to cope having his boss pour all of his heartache onto him.

Miyagi leaned back in his chair and shook his head. After a moment, he put his pen down and sighed. He hesitated, dithering, then finally decided to confide in his assistant.

“He left me, the other day. So you should be happy, Kamijou – you won’t have to see him again or worry about walking in on the two of us.”

“Oh… I have to say, I’m kinda surprised… Do you mind me asking why you broke up? Whenever I saw you two together, he was always – how should I put it? – very _keen_ on you…”

“He still is – neither of us wanted this. He was trying to help me.”

“Help you how?”

“To keep my job.”

“Keep your –” Hiroki paused, suddenly understanding. “Shit. Shit! The Dean found out, didn’t he?!”

Miyagi nodded.

“How did he find out?”

Miyagi looked a little uncomfortable at this question. Looking down at his hands, he mumbled so that Hiroki had to strain to hear,

“We, er, made a sex tape…”

Hiroki’s mouth dropped open.

“ _What??_ You made a sex tape? With an underage boy? And left it around for his father to find?? Fuck! _Fucking hell, Miyagi!_ I _told_ you, didn’t I tell you??”

Miyagi looked up in shock as a heavy book collided with his head. Hiroki was pacing in front of his desk, shaking his head, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

“I knew he was trouble from the start – I _warned_ you to be careful, not to let that brat ruin everything. He was too dangerous! What about your career? Your income so you can _live_? Hell, you could be in _jail_ right now!” He spun around to stare accusingly at Miyagi. “How _stupid_ can you be?? I mean, honestly – what the _hell_ were you thinking??”

Miyagi simply stared back, shocked at Hiroki’s irate reaction. In a small voice he merely replied,

“I love him.”

Hiroki froze, breathing heavily. He closed his eyes, frowning, and sighed deeply. Opening them again, he regarded his lovelorn boss with pitying eyes. He plopped resignedly into his chair and smiled sadly at Miyagi.

“I know you do. I’m sorry. I guess you can’t help who you fall for. So how are you still here, now that the Dean knows?”

“Shinobu made a deal with him – that he would stop seeing me if his dad let me keep my job and not call the police. See, he’s just the sweetest kid, always thinking about me no matter how much it hurts him. But I’ve known what it feels like to lose someone I love before, I never wanted to feel that way again. I think I’d actually rather lose my job than never see Shinobu again…”

Hiroki’s eyes widened; he knew how passionate Miyagi was about his job, even if he did foist a lot of the paperwork onto Hiroki.

“That wouldn’t get you anywhere either though, would it – how would you support yourself, let alone him too? You never know, they might come round in the end – I’m sure it was a big shock for them, but once they’ve calmed down they might come to accept the two of you as a couple.”

Miyagi looked sceptical.

“After the uproar the other night, I seriously doubt that…”

***

Miyagi’s mood didn’t change over the next few weeks. Hiroki had started to become used to his boss’ sudden change in character, but the work atmosphere was still oppressive. He had caught murmured gossip in the staff room, other teachers wondering what had affected the usually buoyant literature professor to such an extent. He had even stumbled upon a few students speculating upon the same issue, and had had to give them a good telling off, Devil-style.

One Friday, about a month after he had returned from the symposium, Hiroki was on his way back to the office after his final lecture of the day, when he bumped into the Dean and the Director of Arts emerging from the Dean’s office.

“Ah, Kamijou-sensei, how are you?” the Director enquired, smiling at the young man.

“Er, I’m well, thank you, Director – and yourself?” Hiroki replied, smiling almost shyly at the men who fell into step beside him.

“Very well, thank you! Especially now it’s the weekend,” he said, winking. “Just off to a nice dinner with Takatsuki-san and his family, in fact. I expect you’re off out, partying the night away, like all the other young ones, eh?”

“Oh well, not really. Miyagi-kyouju and I are going for a few drinks, but that’s all.”

“Ah, sounds excellent! Where are you heading?”

“I’m not sure, it’s up to him – but hopefully nowhere too expensive as I guess it’s down to me to get the drinks in today…” Hiroki smiled ruefully.

“Oh? Is it a special occasion or anything?” the Director enquired, curious.

“Er, yeah, well it’s his birthday today actually.”

“Really?” the Director’s eyebrows shot up as he grinned at the very person in question emerging from his office, pulling his jacket on over his shirt.

Miyagi looked up at the sound of voices as he shut the door behind him.

“Ah hello, Director, Dean… There you are, Kamijou, I was wondering where you’d got to. Let’s get going, shall we?”

“Miyagi-kun, why didn’t you let us know it was your birthday??” the Director chastised.

Miyagi shrugged, smiling. “I don’t really like to make a fuss out of it, to be honest.”

“Well, I don’t think a few drinks are good enough – you should celebrate properly! The Dean and I are going for dinner anyway, why don’t you and Kamijou join us, make a proper night of it?”

The Dean looked alarmed at this suggestion.

“Now, Matsumoto-san, Miyagi and Kamijou already have their plans, we shouldn’t disrupt them.”

Miyagi also appeared somewhat uncomfortable at the suggestion.

“Yes, sir, I don’t want to be a burden on you. Really, a few drinks and then home is perfectly fine for me!”

The Director tutted, frowning. “Nonsense! Where’s your party spirit? I absolutely insist you join us! There’ll be plenty of room at the table for two more. We can always write it off as a work expense, after all!” he grinned, winking.

Miyagi could see no way to get out of it; pasting a phony smile on his face, he thanked the Director for his kind offer, and the four made their way out to the car park.

The Dean fought to keep a placid look on his face as he fumed inside. It was too much just to have Miyagi join him and the Director for dinner, which, incidentally, had been planned for a week! But to make it ten times worse, his family was also joining them – his whole family – and he had been unable to think of a way to stop Miyagi and Shinobu from meeting.

Well, he’d be damned if he’d let them sit anywhere near each other. He’d do his best to make sure they had no chance to speak, or, heaven forbid, to _touch_.

Reaching the car park, the Director gave Miyagi directions to the restaurant, then he and the Dean hopped in his car and headed off. Hiroki climbed into the passenger seat of Miyagi’s silver car and they followed the others out onto the main road.

It only took ten minutes to drive to the restaurant. Miyagi had passed it many times before but had never been in, feeling that it looked a little expensive for his budget. He was glad that the Director had offered to pick up the tab, although the prospect of spending the next few hours in conversation with the Dean left him rather apprehensive.

Though that really was the least of his worries, he discovered upon entering the restaurant and seeing with shock a whole crowd of Takatsukis greeting his colleagues who had already arrived. His heart leaped as he caught sight of familiar honey-blond hair framing a beautiful pale face: _Shinobu_.

Something prodded him in the back and he suddenly realised Hiroki was still behind him, standing in the doorway and complaining of being cold. He moved forward and together the two joined the rest of the group.

Shinobu’s big, grey eyes grew wide when he saw Miyagi. He looked quickly at his father, who was gritting his teeth behind a false smile. Before he could say anything to either of them, the waitress appeared and they were shown to their table.

Shinobu tried to hover back so he could talk to Miyagi, but his father took his arm and guided him firmly along.

“Shinobu, why don’t you sit over there, next to your sister, hmm?” he suggested, ushering the boy to the far side of the table as Miyagi took his own seat next to Hiroki.

The waitress soon appeared to take their orders and bring the first round of drinks.

“Well,” the Director said, raising his glass. “Here’s to Miyagi-kun – we all wish you a very happy birthday! Kampai!”

“Kampai!” the rest of the table chorused, some more enthusiastically than others.

“So, Miyagi-kun, dare I ask how old you are now?”

“Thirty six, sir,” Miyagi replied.

“Only thirty six??” the Director cried. “Lucky you, Miyagi-kun, still so young! Ah, how I wish I could turn the clock back and be thirty six again!”

“And yet, not so young, at least when compared to my son, Shinobu, who hasn’t even yet turned twenty,” the Dean quickly remarked, looking pointedly at Miyagi.

Miyagi grit his teeth and ignored the jabbed remark. The Director looked in surprise at Shinobu.

“Goodness, only nineteen are you? Those with youth on their side certainly are lucky. And such a handsome boy too, I bet you’re a real Casanova with the ladies…” he winked.

Shinobu blushed and looked down at his plate. So adorable, Miyagi thought, feeling his heart pang as he gazed upon his ex-lover’s reddened cheeks.

“Not really – I prefer to focus on my studies.” Shinobu murmured in response.

“You must be at university then?”

“Yes, I’m at Teito,” Shinobu replied.

“Really? Well done! You must be very clever to have got into that fine institution. May I ask what you’re studying?”

“I’m on their law programme.”

“Well, well!!” the Director trumpeted, looking very impressed.

“How’s your course going, Shinobu-kun?” Miyagi enquired boldly. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the Dean and his wife exchange glances, his boss scowling at his direct interaction with Shinobu.

Shinobu met his eyes and replied,

“It’s going fine – though I’ve not had much time lately to study any literature unfortunately.”

“Literature?” the Director broke in. “Are you studying both Law and Literature at Teito? I didn’t think the Law programme allowed for any cross-discipline study as it’s so intense?”

“No, I’m just studying literature on my own on the side, out of interest.”

“Wow, excellent! Well, I’m sure if you ask him nicely enough, Miyagi-kun here would be happy to give you the odd lesson or two to help you get the most out of it!”

“That’s a very good idea of yours, sir, I’d not thought of that! Perhaps I should ask him,” Shinobu said, glancing over at Miyagi, a hint of a smile playing about his lips.

“Ahem!” The Dean coughed loudly, his face turning a dark shade of red. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Shinobu – you really had best concentrate on Law, after all that’s what we’re paying tuition fees for. Plus, I know Miyagi-san has a heap of work to catch up on after such a long break for the conference. I don’t think he’ll have the time to give any private tutorials.”

Just then, the waitress appeared with their food, and the conversation drifted off into other topics for the rest of the evening.

Shinobu could see Miyagi out of the corner of his right eye; more than that, he could _feel_ that the man he loved was close. He picked at his food, feeling more sick in his stomach than hungry. His heart was thumping. All he wanted to do was go over to Miyagi and kiss him, feel his strong, warm arms wrapped around him, holding him close.

Having him so near, after two months apart, and being unable to touch him at all was unbearable. He stared miserably at his plate.

Miyagi was also finding the dinner excruciating. His eyes were constantly drawn to Shinobu, and he had to keep reminding himself not to stare at the sad-looking boy.

About halfway through the dinner, Shinobu excused himself to use the restaurant toilet. Shutting himself inside the cubicle, he leaned back against the wall and pressed his face into his hands.

Unable to bear it any longer, he pulled out his mobile phone.

Miyagi was pretending to listen politely as the Director animatedly discussed the joys of sumo with the Dean and Risako, who surprisingly turned out to be a big fan of the Japanese sport. He jumped slightly when he heard his phone ring in his pocket. Excusing himself for a moment, he stepped away from the table and flipped open his phone, feeling his chest tighten when he saw who was ringing.

Moving further away from the group, he answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Miyagi?” Shinobu breathed down the phone.

Miyagi immediately sensed that Shinobu was upset.

“Shu-chin – are you ok? Where are you?” he whispered so that the others didn’t overhear.

Hearing his lover’s voice weakened Shinobu, and his voice broke slightly as he explained where he was.

“Ok, stay right there, I’ll come over,” Miyagi replied.

Making his way to the back of the restaurant, he pushed open the door to the men’s restroom, calling Shinobu’s name quietly. The door to the furthest cubicle opened and a small, sad face peered out.

Miyagi didn’t hesitate; striding forward, he grabbed Shinobu and pulled him into a tight embrace, wrapping one arm firmly around the boy’s waist while sliding his other hand through soft, blond hair.

Shinobu wrapped his arms around Miyagi’s middle, squeezing him hard as he buried his face in the man’s chest.

“Shinobu… Shinobu…” Miyagi moaned under his breath as he nuzzled his face against the boy’s hair.

“I’ve missed you so much, Miyagi,” Shinobu whispered, looking up at the older man. “I’m sorry – I’m so sorry!” Tears sprang to his eyes as he tried to explain why he had left his lover.

“Hush now,” Miyagi soothed. “I know why you did it, love – no need to explain, or apologise. I think it was the most selfless and brave thing – I just wish it hadn’t been necessary. And that’s all my fault, if I hadn’t left that damn tape where your dad might find it…”

He brushed away a stray tear from Shinobu’s soft cheek with the pad of his thumb. He couldn’t stand to see the boy so upset. Leaning their foreheads against each other, they gazed sadly into the other’s eyes. Shinobu lifted himself onto his toes slightly and pressed his lips gently against Miyagi’s.

They both felt the tingle as their lips met. Suddenly all the sorrow and all the yearning that had built up inside Miyagi over the past few weeks overflowed, and he pulled Shinobu even closer to him and kissed him hungrily.

Shinobu’s lips parted and Miyagi’s tongue pushed inside, rubbing up against Shinobu’s. The boy moaned as they kissed each other again and again, trying to assuage the longing for each other that had been hounding them for so long, but none of the kisses were enough.

Miyagi shoved Shinobu against the wall as he kissed him passionately. Hands roamed all over each other, groping and grabbing, desperate for tangible confirmation that they really were finally together.

At last Miyagi pulled away, gasping for breath. His fingers laced with Shinobu’s and he rested his head against the boy’s as he said reluctantly,

“We’d better be getting back to the table before your family starts getting suspicious…”

Shinobu nodded sadly, sighing.

“When will I see you again?” he asked.

“I don’t know…” Miyagi replied, stepping back and looking away.

“Ever??”

Miyagi didn’t answer for a moment; then, squeezing Shinobu’s hand, he turned to him and said simply,

“I hope so.”

Shinobu wiped at his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he smiled gently at Miyagi and left the toilet. Miyagi waited a few minutes before following him out, pressing his phone to his ear as if he were just finishing a conversation as he returned to the table.

Neither he nor Shinobu noticed Risako’s keen eyes flicker back and forth between the two of them as they settled back down to dinner.


	10. Chapter Ten

Shinobu was silent in the car on the way home from the restaurant. He was struggling to hold in all the feelings that were pushing hard against his chest.

When they finally pulled into the driveway, he jumped out, followed his sister into the house and headed straight up to his room without a word to the rest of his family. His mother sighed sadly and went to sit in the living room, her husband following behind her.

Risako stood for a moment in the entrance hall, contemplating. After a moment, she slipped off her red coat and silk scarf, hung them on the hook next to the front door and padded with bare feet up the stairs.

She knocked gently on her brother’s door and twisted the knob, opening the door inwards. Shinobu was sitting at the top end of his bed, back against the wall, hugging his knees. He looked up in surprise when he saw her enter. Frowning, he watched with suspicion as she sat on the bed next to him.

Risako didn’t say anything for a few moments, merely chewing her lip thoughtfully. Finally, she turned to her brother and said softly,

“I bet that was really hard for you… I don’t even know how he came to be there!”

Shinobu said nothing, just stared at her in confusion. Risako reached over and brushed her brother’s cheek gently, noting the slight dampness. On impulse, she slid closer and pulled Shinobu into her arms.

He stiffened at first, but after a moment his muscles relaxed and, lulled by the warmth and comfort of her arms, he started to shake gently. Turning his head slightly towards her, Risako could see the tears sliding silently down his cheeks. Holding him tighter, she said,

“Is You really worth all of this, Shinobu?”

“Yes! Of course! Just ‘cos you decided to abandon him, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t matter to me!” he replied between sobs.

Risako sighed heavily. “I never said he doesn’t matter, and I didn’t just ‘abandon’ him! I’m actually sick of people always painting me out to be the bad guy! You really don’t have a clue what it was like for me, being married to him, Shinobu! I really did try, I spent years of my life being a good wife and looking after him and I got absolutely nothing in return.”

“So that made it ok to cheat on him?”

Risako pulled back, forcing Shinobu to sit up, and looked him in the eye.

“No, I guess, not really. But I was lonely, Shu – desperately lonely. Can you imagine, do you have any idea what it feels like to love someone, to live with them, and have them completely ignore you? Not even out of spite, at least if he’d hated me there would have been some emotion involved! But he didn’t even notice me. How many times did I catch him staring longingly at that bloody photo of someone who’s not even _alive_ , and there I was, alive and right in front of him and he didn’t give a damn!

You’re angry with me for hurting him – well, don’t be, because I didn’t hurt him. I freed him. He was happier without me, happy just wallowing in his own self-pity. That’s the guy you think you love, Shinobu. But believe me, no matter how much you love him, he’s only going to end up hurting you – because he can never love you, he will never get over his sensei.”

“You’re wrong,” Shinobu simply stated.

Risako frowned.

“Shu – I’m not saying this to hurt you. I just want you to realise who Miyagi really is – a much older man who’s buried in his past. He has no room for you. I’ve seen you the last few weeks, how you’ve hidden yourself away, you’re not _you_ anymore, Shinobu. I hate to see how much he affects you. Please, can’t you _try_ to see? I just want my strong, stubborn, annoying – but happy – kid brother back please!” she smiled.

“Risako – none of you have actually tried listening to what _I_ have to say about any of this! All of you, dad especially, have just ranted and raved over what you _think_ is what’s going on, but you’ve not sat down with me or Miyagi to give us a chance to show you that our feelings for each other are real.”

Risako took a deep breath. “Ok, then. I’m here with you now, why don’t you tell me?”

“Only if you’ll actually listen and consider what I have to say properly.”

“I will.”

“No interruptions!”

“No interruptions,” she agreed.

“Fine. Ok. Well, I do know it’s probably weird for _you_ , seeing Miyagi with me. And your marriage was a shambles right from the start. Yeah, I think it was shitty of you to cheat on Miyagi. He’s a really good guy who deserves someone loyal. But I do remember you telling me about that picture and what it meant, and I have spoken to Miyagi about it. But you’re wrong when you say he won’t ever get over his sensei – because he already has.

Miyagi’s already proven how much he loves me, several times. He’s the one who stopped me from going back to Australia – he came running after me at the airport!”

Risako’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Not only that – but he almost missed the anniversary of his Sensei’s death because he was thinking about me – he told me he’s never missed it before.”

“That’s true,” Risako acknowledged. “I remember one time I booked for us to have a romantic weekend away, just the two of us, and he made me cancel it as he couldn’t _possibly_ miss going back to that _woman’s_ grave… You’re saying he actually forgot about it??”

“Yes. In the end we did go – but only so he could finally face her and let her go once and for all. That was the first time he told me he loved me – in front of her grave, he said he had finally found someone he loved more than her. And you know what, he’s never looked back. Her anniversary isn’t marked on his calendar anymore. I found that photo at the bottom of a drawer a few weeks ago – it was buried under a load of other stuff, and covered in dust.”

“ _What?!”_ Risako gasped. She was shocked; when she and Miyagi had been married, he had treated that photo as if it were more precious than she was. Now it was just lying around gathering dust??

“So don’t you see now? You don’t need to worry about me, because Miyagi really loves me. And I love him. I really have loved him for years. I’ve waited so long, I had to watch him get married to my own sister – why do you think I went to Australia anyway? And finally, eventually, he was free and I was old enough and we could be together – and already it’s all over!”

“But you’re _not_ old enough, Shu, that’s part of the problem! You’re still underage. He’s committed a crime!”

“I’m old enough to live on my own! To go to university, to get a job… If I had a girlfriend my own age, would you all still have a problem? Even though technically we’d both be underage when it came to sex. Why does it have to be any different if I’m with Miyagi?”

Risako cringed at the thought of her brother having sex with her ex-husband. She had learned from her parents about the existence of the sex tape, but wisely chose not to view any of it for proof.

“Miyagi should know better than to sleep with someone underage, whether they’re male or female! Besides, he’s twice as old as you, Shu! Don’t you want someone your own age?”

“No,” Shinobu replied firmly. “I don’t. I want Miyagi. I always have and those feelings aren’t just going to go away. I don’t want anyone else. Age doesn’t matter to me, if I can’t have Miyagi, then I don’t want anyone!”

“And you’re absolutely sure that Miyagi feels the same way? That he truly loves you? That he’s treating you properly, as equals?”

“Yes, besides I’m strong enough to stand up for myself! Risako, do you really think that he would risk so much – his job, dad finding out – I mean, dad’s already threatened to have him arrested! – would he risk all of that if he didn’t really love me?”

Risako gazed at her brother, whose eyes were now wide and bright at the thought of his lover, so certain of his love for him, and thought to herself, No, I suppose he wouldn’t.

Ruffling her brother’s hair, she leaned over and kissed his cheek, giving him a last squeeze before standing up and making her way out of the room. Closing the bedroom door behind her, she stood for a moment, feeling somewhat confused and unsettled.

Tomorrow, she determined, she would have a little talk with her ex-husband.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be a bit soppy... ;)

Miyagi groaned lightly and rolled over yet again. Burying his face in the pillow, he let out a deep sigh. It was no good. He couldn’t sleep, and besides, his bed felt too big and cold. After a year of waking up beside another warm body, he was no longer used to lying alone.

It was shocking really how quickly he had got used to falling asleep and waking up with Shinobu beside him. Now they had been apart for two months – one month while he was in Hokkaido and another since the boy’s family had found out about their relationship – but he still hadn’t grown accustomed to being on his own again. Each morning he woke up, reached out a hand to caress his lover and blearily opened his eyes in surprise as for the umpteenth time he rediscovered his loss.

He couldn’t stand it anymore.

Pushing the covers back, he dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom before heading into the kitchen to make some breakfast. It was early on Saturday, and he was in no rush. He sat at the table slowly chewing a piece of toast and flicking through yesterday’s paper. He was just swigging a glass of water when there came a knock at the door.

He walked over, confused as to who would be visiting at that time of the morning, and opened the door. His face drained of colour when he saw who it was.

Risako stood before him, looking very prim in a grey pencil shirt and pale pink fitted polo neck.

“May I come in?” she enquired, looking him over.

Miyagi was not looking nearly so neat. He hadn’t yet dressed and was merely wearing the boxers and grey T shirt he had worn to bed, a few crumbs stuck to the front of his shirt. His hair was mussed and a hint of stubble grazed his jaw.

He leaned against the door frame and studied his ex-wife, frowning.

“You can’t, no, not if you’re here to lay into me again. I’ve done what you asked, I’ve stayed away from Shinobu. It’s over between us. You got what you wanted. So you can piss off.”

Risako looked slightly amused; Miyagi was never normally one for using bad language.

“I’m not here to have a go at you, You. I just want to talk, that’s all.”

“What about?”

“Let me in and you’ll find out.”

Miyagi sighed and drew back, reluctantly opening the door wider to let his ex-wife enter. Risako slipped off her shoes and dropped her bag in the entryway, making her way into the living area. It was meticulously tidy, apart from the mountain of books and papers scattered over the dining table. A small gap had been made in the pile, where Miyagi’s breakfast plate still sat.

“Still busy as usual, I see,” she commented.

Miyagi came up behind her.

“Get to the point, Risako. What do you want?”

She turned and studied him for a moment before seating herself comfortably on the sofa. Looking up at her ex-husband, she answered,

“I want to know exactly what Shinobu means to you.”

“What?” Miyagi said incredulously.

“You heard me. It seems to me that you risked quite a lot when you wantonly seduced my brother… I want to know why. Why him?”

Miyagi sat down opposite her, staring in amazement.

“I can’t believe you’ve asked me that. I thought you were all firm believers of the ‘Miyagi’s the root of all evil’ school of thought? You’re actually willing to hear me out? Fair and square?”

“Yes. I can’t promise it’ll change my mind, you know. But I have to admit I’m curious about the two of you. So, are you going to answer my question? Why did you want Shinobu, what does he mean to you?”

Miyagi paused, contemplating, before answering,

“In truth – when Shinobu first came to me, he meant nothing. He was just some annoying kid who kept pestering me. I thought his declaration of his feelings for me was a farce. I was still like you remember me, still in love with Sensei. I didn’t feel I had room for anyone else, and I didn’t want room – especially for a kid half my age, and male!

Contrary to what you and the rest of your family may believe, I didn’t go into this blindly. I’m fully aware of all the many, _many_ issues that face us. But yes, what you said is true, I have risked a lot, and I did so knowingly and willingly.

I didn’t even notice at first the effect that he had on me. You probably are justified in calling me indifferent, but I’m not heartless – as much as he was a pain, I still never wanted to hurt him, even though I did want him to give up and just leave me alone.

The thing is, he’s addictive. I didn’t even want him and suddenly I found I couldn’t stop thinking about him. At work, at home, he invaded my thoughts, I worried about him all the time, he pushed everything else out of my head – even Sensei! You were shocked when you heard that – believe me, I was a hundred times even more shocked than you! It’s never happened before, never – and not just with you, but everyone I’ve ever tried to be with. And against my will, this kid comes along and just takes over everything.

He’s just like a little terrorist!

It’s not like it’s all perfect, of course not. There is a big age gap and we’re quite different from each other. And you know Shinobu, he’s bloody stubborn, it’s not always peaceful having him around.

But I just can’t help it. I really do love him. With Sensei – we loved each other but we couldn’t really be together properly. And when she got ill, everything was tainted with sadness, with fear. Her love was the kindest, purest love – but it was bittersweet, it pulled me down for so many years. Or rather I let it pull me down…

Falling for Shinobu was hard – I didn’t want it and the guilt and anxiety were overwhelming… But once it had happened, it was… like being reborn, like coming alive again. It’s a strange analogy, but you know when you lie on your arm and it goes numb – you can’t feel anything and it’s like your arm isn’t even part of your body anymore.

Then when you get up and the blood rushes back, you get those horrible, uncomfortable pinpricks of pain all over. But when that’s over, you’re back to normal, your arm is fine, fully functioning and a part of you again.

That’s what Shinobu did to me. He brought me out of myself, out of those years of numbness and indifference and breathed life back into me. Painful and unwanted at first, but then becoming a vital, indispensible part of me.

I don’t think I even felt as much as this for Sensei. That’s why I was willing to risk everything to be with him. Even knowing that all the odds are stacked against us, even at the risk of losing my job, my good name, even the thought of us both being ostracised by everyone we know and love – I’d face it all again if I could be with him now.

He has his faults, of course! He can be rude, quick tempered, he jumps to conclusions all the time. For a smart kid he sometimes comes out with the weirdest ideas! And he cannot cook to save his life! The number of times I’ve feared for the safety of my kitchen… But he’s still the kindest, sweetest, most selfless person I’ve ever met. And after nearly two decades of seeing the world through a misty, grey haze, he’s opened my eyes and shown me just how bright and colourful it really is.

And I know, that’s ridiculously cheesy! Probably not something you want to hear your ex saying about your little brother, and if I were more myself at the moment (after all, it is only 07.45 on a Saturday morning…) I doubt I’d let these words pass my lips! But you asked why, and there you go, I’ve told you.”

Miyagi fell silent, calmly observing his ex-wife. She was sitting with her hands resting on her lap, right leg crossed over the left, simply watching him.

She didn’t quite know what to think; once he had started, the words had poured out of Miyagi’s mouth and he did seem genuine.

“And you… when you look at my brother… you actually desire him?” she asked hesitantly.

Miyagi looked a little embarrassed at the question. He looked away from his ex-wife.

“Yes,” he replied simply.

This was the part that Risako was having trouble dealing with; she loved her brother and had once cared for Miyagi, so could understand that they could grow to care for each other. But romantically? Sex??! That was crossing a whole other line. 

“Was it just him? I mean, have there been other guys that you’ve liked before…?”

“No,” Miyagi quickly replied. “Never. But I’ve told you before, it’s not about whether he’s male or female, I’d love Shinobu either way, just because he is Shinobu. But he is a guy, and that’s not put me off.”

“So you’re attracted to him then. Physically.”

Miyagi sighed. “Haven’t I already answered that question? Yes, I’m attracted to him physically. We’ve been together for a while, things have happened and we’ve both enjoyed it. Ok?”

Maybe he should have tried to be a bit more delicate about it, he suddenly thought, as he saw Risako’s hands curl into balls and her lips press into a thin line.

Risako felt her heart pounding as her ex-husband talked candidly about the pleasure he got from sleeping with her kid brother. She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down.

“And what if we hadn’t found out? How long would this relationship have gone on? How long ‘til the excitement wore off and you remembered your sensei and forgot all about Shinobu again? I don’t want my brother to be overlooked because of some old, tatty picture like I was.”

“Picture?” Miyagi blinked, confused. “Oh, that one? I haven’t looked at that for months, I can’t even remember where I put it. I’ve told you, I’ve put Sensei behind me. I won’t go back to that. I’d keep Shinobu here by my side for the rest of my life if he’d have me. Though, as I told your father, I wouldn’t want to become a burden on him. He is right to worry that Shinobu would spend precious years of his life caring for his old, decrepit lover… But I wouldn’t let it get like that.

Anyway, anything else you want to question me on? Only time’s getting on and I’d like to get dressed at some point today.”

Risako took the hint and rose to her feet. Miyagi walked her to the door, neither of them saying anything. She picked up her bag and slipped her feet into her shoes, before resting her hand on the door knob.

Before leaving, she said quietly,

“Thank you for speaking to me, You. I needed to understand.”

With that, she opened the door and made her way to the lift at the end of the hallway.

 

***

 

Risako didn’t go home straight away; instead she wandered about the city, lost in her thoughts, unconsciously heading to some of the places that she had visited with Miyagi: the restaurant where they had gone for their first wedding anniversary, the group of cherry blossom trees in the park where she had brought him for a picnic, even the library where he had spent so many hours, leaving her bored and alone in the apartment.

She had a lot of memories of Miyagi, both good and bad. It had been a long time since she had thought about them. Now she wondered: did Miyagi take Shinobu to these places? Where did they go, what did they do? Did they walk along laughing and holding hands? Did Miyagi hurry home from work or the library, anxious to see Shinobu’s face?

Could he really be a proper partner for her young brother, instead of the cold person she had been married to?

And if so, could she cope with the fact that her brother had succeeded where she had failed?

If they got back together, they wouldn’t need to hide anymore. She would have to see them all cosy and happy together. They would kiss. They would do more than kiss. In truth, the thought of it made her feel very uncomfortable.

At last her feet grew tired from walking and her brain felt overloaded. Flagging down a taxi, she gave the driver directions home.

Entering the house, she heard a clattering sound coming from the kitchen. She walked in to find her mother putting away a few clean pans. She looked up when she heard footsteps.

“There you are, sweetheart! I’ve been wondering where you’d got to, you must have left early this morning. Where did you go?” Noriko asked.

Risako sank down on one of the kitchen chairs. She propped her head on her hand and stretched out her legs, wiggling her toes.

“I’ve been walking around mostly. I could do with a foot massage, my feet are really tired!”

“Ask your father!” her mother chuckled.

“Mum,” Risako said in a small voice. “What do you think about all this business with Shinobu and You?”

Her mother looked up in surprise. She finished putting away the last few items and came to sit at the kitchen table with her daughter. She rested her hands on the table as she thought for a moment.

“Essentially – I agree with your father. Though to be honest, I think he could have handled the matter a bit more sensitively, that dreadful fiasco we had at the start could have been avoided. But Miyagi-kun isn’t a good choice for Shinobu, at the very least he’s far too old for him and it’s very inappropriate given the history between the two of you.”

Risako looked a little troubled. “So you don’t think that they love each other?”

Noriko bit her lip. “No, actually I think they probably do love each other. Your father only saw a bit of that… tape… and it didn’t really show them in the best light, I think. But I saw the end – and they were very loving towards each other. In fact, I thought it was rather sweet!”

Risako frowned at this. “Then why don’t you think they should be together? If they love each other, if they’re happy, why does the rest matter?”

“Of course the rest matters, Risako! Their feelings may be strong, but you can’t just sweep away all the practicalities! Miyagi really is lucky to have got away as lightly as he did, he could have ended up in prison for this relationship. Where is all this coming from anyway? I thought that of all of us, you would be the one most against this relationship.”

“That is how I felt at first…” Risako replied. “But You and I split up a long time ago, it’s not for me to determine who he goes out with. If he had been with anyone else, I would never have got involved, I probably wouldn’t even have cared.

Of course it feels strange to me – it’s actually rather unbelievable, I sometimes think I’m just having a very long nightmare, but can’t seem to wake up. But it’s not just about my feelings – I want Shinobu to be happy too, and of course I expected him to be upset at first, but I figured with time he’d become happier – but he’s not getting any better at all. I’m worried about him.

I spoke to him yesterday. I listened to what he had to say, which as he pointed out, none of us has bothered to do at all in the last month. And this morning I went to see You. I just… I’m starting to think that despite the age thing, and the bad experience You and I had with each other, he and Shinobu might actually be quite good for each other…”

Noriko stared at her daughter, hardly believing what was coming out of her mouth.

“Risako – you’re saying you actually approve of their relationship?”

Risako hesitated. “… I think so… I’ve thought about it a lot… It seems to make Shinobu happy. And I’d noticed before that You had changed, that he seemed happier than when we were together. I think they’re both aware of the problems with their relationship. And I guess I was one of those problems, but if I accept them, then at least that’s one down.”

Noriko frowned. “That’s extremely understanding of you, sweetheart. I’m not sure I’d be able to cope if it were my ex-husband… Of course I want Shinobu to be happy. He’s my main priority in all this, and the same for your father. But I’m sure there are other people out there who can make him just as happy.”

“But if he’s found someone now, why waste that? Why throw that away and go out with a bunch of wrong ones in the search to find another who’s right? I’ve tried that myself! All the guys I’ve been out with lately have been a complete waste of time.”

“But Shinobu is still too young!” Noriko insisted. “Seventeen years’ difference is huge, and Shinobu still isn’t even of age – certainly not old enough to be doing the kinds of things your father and I witnessed on that tape…” her voice trailed off.

“He’s nineteen. He’ll be twenty soon, practically of age, and surely that’s plenty grown up. After all, if he dated someone else his own age, they’d probably still be doing the same things…”

Fighting for her brother, one by one Risako continued to break down each of her mother’s arguments. In her mind’s eye, Noriko kept seeing the vision of her son gazing in wonder at his lover’s sleeping face; of the two of them curled up in each other’s arms, teasing, laughing and loving each other. The memory of her beautiful son in tears, shaking with pain as his father roared at him and as he pushed his lover out the door, flashed before her eyes and at last her mind was made up. Her daughter was probably right, the pair deserved a chance to prove their love and commitment; besides, she could no longer bear to see her son in such anguish.

Giving in, she agreed with Risako that maybe it would be better to let Miyagi and Shinobu be together; at any rate, if it wasn’t meant to be, the relationship would naturally run its course.


	12. Chapter Twelve

The Dean completely missed the discussion between his wife and daughter. He was currently sitting in his office, straightening out a few papers and gathering together a small number of plain, thin, beige folders.

Leaving his office, he made his way up the stairs and along the corridor to his son’s bedroom. He rapped lightly on the door and twisted the knob, pushing the door open gently. Sticking his head around the door, he caught sight of Shinobu: he was sitting by the window, slouching against the wall, staring into the dark, empty night.

The Dean sighed softly. Moving quietly further into the room, he perched on the edge of the bed and studied his son.

Shinobu’s expression was blank. He simply stared unmoving into the blackness, just waiting for the minutes and hours to slowly pass.

The Dean broke the silence.

“I’ve brought something I’d like you to take a look at, please, Shinobu.”

“What is it?” Shinobu asked monotonously without looking round.

“Some folders – profiles, actually, of a few girls your own age. I understand that you’ve been lonely, but, son, there’s no need to run off with another man to try to feel better. Now, these girls are smart and talented; they’re certainly very pretty, if you ask me. All I’m asking is that you take a look and see if any of them appeals to you at all. You don’t have to commit to anything – but the potential is there if it’s what you want.”

“It’s not what I want.”

“You’ve not even looked at them yet,” the Dean replied, exasperated.

“I know there’s no point. I’m not interested in them. Can’t you just go away and leave me alone?”

The Dean sighed. This messy business had dragged on for weeks; he was exhausted because of it all. He had lost all of his energy raging at his son and Miyagi at the start, and now he just felt drained. Most of all, he felt sad; he didn’t like to see Shinobu upset and wasn’t used to being the recipient of so much anger and resentment from one of his children.

“I know you’re hurt, Shinobu; I know you’re probably really angry with your mother and me right now. But please know we’re doing this for your own good. We love you, we don’t want to see you hurt or upset. But in the long run, this will hurt you less than if you go on consorting with that man and end up wasting your life away,” he said quietly.

Shinobu said nothing for several moments. Then, without turning away from the window, he replied,

“I don’t really understand – do you not like the fact that I’m gay, or that I’m with Miyagi?”

His father flinched when Shinobu declared so boldly that he was gay. A look of discomfort came over his face and he frowned, saying,

“Being gay isn’t a joke, Shinobu. I really believe you ought to think a bit harder before making that decision; you’ve hardly experienced life yet, you should at least go out with a few girls – you may feel differently then.”

Shinobu did turn to look at him then.

“It’s not a decision anyone can make, you know! And please stop treating me like a child! I’ve grown up, and I know what I am – and I know who I want to be with. I’m not interested in girls, I never have been. I love Miyagi, he’s the one I want. And no matter what, even if you manage to keep us apart with blackmail, you won’t be able to change how I feel. Even if, with enough time, my feelings for Miyagi were to fade, I would still always be gay. Your son is gay – deal with it! Because, if you can’t, there’s nothing I can do to change who I am!”

The Dean sat in shock at this sudden outburst. Recovering himself, he stood up and dropped the folders onto Shinobu’s bed.

“Well. Even if you are –” he took a deep breath. “ _Gay_ – you’re still better off with someone your own age. Think about what this is doing to your sister too! The poor girl, watching her brother run off with her husband.”

“ _Ex_ -husband,” Shinobu muttered under his breath.

“In any case, all I’m asking you to do is to just look at the files – just look at them, on the off chance that you might surprise yourself. For your mother and sister at least. They love you, Shinobu – as do I.”

When he had finished, the Dean clapped his son on the shoulder and left the room.

***

The Dean strolled back down the stairs, hoping desperately that his son wouldn’t just throw the papers into the bin.

His mouth felt a little dry and he decided a cup of green tea would help to calm him down a bit. Heading over to the kitchen, he heard voices from inside.

“Having a ladies’ meeting, eh?” he asked as he entered. He picked up the kettle and went to the sink to fill it with water.

“Dear, Risako and I have been having an important discussion about Shinobu.” Noriko said.

The Dean looked round, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh yes?” he said a little apprehensively.

“Why don’t you sit down with us and talk for a minute?”

The Dean poured his tea and sat down at the table opposite his daughter. He looked between the two, suddenly feeling slightly anxious. Both women were looking a little nervous. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Well, this is an interesting discussion!” he finally said, giving an ironic laugh.

Risako took a deep breath.

“Dad, mum and I have been talking a lot about Shinobu and You and the events of the last few weeks. We’ve weighed up a lot of things… And we’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best to let them be together.”

“ _What_??”

The Dean’s mouth dropped open in shock and his eyes grew wide and fierce.

“What is this nonsense? How can you even think that’s a good idea?” He turned to his wife. “You saw the tape – do you really want to let that man continue to have his way with our son? He was barbaric! I cannot understand how Shinobu could have endured it.”

Risako cringed at the image her father was painting of her brother with her ex-husband – was Miyagi really that rough?

Noriko placed her hand over her husband’s to try and calm him. In a quiet, reassuring voice, she replied,

“I saw the tape, yes. But, dear, I don’t think you saw very much of it – if you saw what I did, you would have seen how loving they were to each other. I’ve not seen either of them so happy before.”

The Dean was flabbergasted.

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Where’s this suddenly come from? Until now you’ve always agreed that they should stop seeing each other.”

“Yes, I know – but that was just going on my initial reaction, which was affected by the shock of discovering the truth. We’ve not actually given either of them a chance to explain or defend themselves. Risako has though – she’s spoken to both of them and she’s convinced that they should be given a chance. And, love, don’t you think she’s the one most qualified to offer that chance? After all, this affects her more than it does you and me, Miyagi-kun was her husband.”

“And Shinobu’s our son,” the Dean countered.

“Yes – and as his mother, I want what’s best for him and I want him to be happy.”

“And you think that I don’t want Shinobu to be happy?! Of course I do! And I will do all in my power to give him every chance of happiness. But I swear, he will never have it with that vile man! It’s sick and wrong – it’s illegal, for goodness’ sake!”

The Dean’s voice grew increasingly loud, and he found himself swelling in anger as he stared defiantly at his fickle wife and daughter. How could they change their minds so suddenly and so drastically?

“All he needs is to meet a few nice girls, get to know them – he’s never had many female friends, but I’m sure that when he’s more used to them, he’ll start to realise he can have those kinds of feelings for girls too. In fact, a number of excellent families have approached me in the past about the possibility of a match between Shinobu and one of their daughters.”

“What?! You’re going to give him an arranged marriage? That’s a ridiculous idea!” Risako cried. “Shinobu’s only a kid! You can’t marry him off just like that, he’s not even finished university yet! Let him have some kind of a life, for god’s sake!”

“Really, how could you even contemplate such a ridiculous notion? I hardly think setting up Shinobu with some random girl is going to help this situation at all. He’s already in love, he’s not going to forget about Miyagi-kun just like that!” Noriko argued, frowning at her stubborn husband.

The Dean felt thoroughly under attack from all sides and only grew more riled.

“Shinobu WILL NOT go back to that man! I will _not_ allow it! I _cannot_ understand how you can possibly think that that is in any way an acceptable solution to this _nightmare_! What is wrong with me trying to give him a chance for a _normal_ life, hmm?”

He didn’t wait for an answer. Pushing his chair back, the feet screeching against the kitchen floor, the Dean jumped up and stormed angrily out of the room.

Slamming the door to his home office behind him, he scrambled around in the top drawer of his desk for a moment before pulling out a slim, black address book. Flicking through it, he hummed with satisfaction when he located the name he had been looking for.

Grabbing the cordless phone from its charger, he tapped in the number written in the book and held the phone against his ear.

“Ah, Sato-san, this is Takatsuki. How are you?” he boomed into the receiver. “Oh, good, that’s excellent news. Anyway, the reason I’m calling was just to ask if you and your family are free for dinner this Saturday… You are? Excellent. And tell me, are you still on the lookout for a suitable partner for Keiko?...”

***

“Right, so you’ll have that research paper ready for me to read by Friday next week then. Excellent. Well, gentlemen, I think that’s all for now.”

The Dean rose from his leather chair and stepped around his desk to guide Hiroki and Miyagi out of his office.

Since he had found out about Miyagi’s sordid relationship with his son, he had done his utmost to stay away from the man as much as possible. However, he still had to perform his duties as Dean of Literature, and after putting off a meeting with his employee for as long as he could, finally he had to face him.

At least Hiroki was there so it wasn’t just him and Miyagi. He had found himself looking at and talking to Hiroki for the most part of the meeting; his eyes simply hadn’t wanted to see Miyagi. They had talked exclusively about literature, the students and the professors’ progress in their research, which had at least made the meeting a little easier.

Now as they stood to make their way out of the room, Hiroki jumped as his phone beeped in his pocket. Frowning, he glanced at the screen, his eyes widening when he saw the message.

“Ah, I’m sorry but I have to dash – I forgot I had an important lunch meeting to get to.”

Miyagi’s lips twitched into the hint of a smile, recognising the faint blush on his subordinate’s cheeks that he always got when he received a message from his boyfriend.

The Dean chuckled.

“No problem, Kamijou-san, you go on now. Young men always have busy social lives, eh?” Then, seeing an opportunity to aim a vicious blow at Miyagi, he added, “Saying that, older men can too! I’m going to have quite a busy evening this Saturday – I’ll be meeting my son’s future wife and in-laws!”

Miyagi’s head shot up at this and his face drained of colour. He stared at his boss.

“What?! What did you say?” he demanded, forgetting for a moment where he was and to whom he was talking.

The Dean looked at him with narrow eyes, a thin, victorious smile creeping onto his face.

“I said I’ll be meeting my son’s new family on Saturday. Now, if you don’t mind, gentlemen, I know Kamijou-san has an appointment to get to and I’m sure you have plenty of work to get on with, Kyouju…”

Miyagi didn’t move, just continued to stare in horror at the Dean. Hiroki anxiously tugged him by the arm and pulled him out of the room, leading him back to their office as Miyagi seemed too dazed to get himself back alone.

The Dean walked back to his desk and rooted around until he found some documents needing a signature from the Bursar. Sliding them into a slim plastic folder, he tucked them under his arm and stepped out of his office, locking his door behind him.

As he walked down the corridor in the wake of the Literature professors, he passed Hirano-san, a lecturer from the History department. The grey-haired, plump woman paused when she saw him and stopped him with a light hand on his arm.

“Oh, Takatsuki-san, I wanted to ask you – is Miyagi-san alright? I’ve been a little concerned, he’s looked rather out of sorts lately, not at all his usual cheery self. I’ve heard some of the other staff comment on it as well. I was worried he was ill. I’ve just passed him with Kamijou-san, he looked as white as a sheet. Do you think he should be working?!”

The Dean looked in surprise at Hirano-san. Had Miyagi really been so affected? He knew the man had been somewhat upset by all the events, but he had been trying deliberately to ignore him, to forget about him even, as much as he could. Even when they were in the same room, he could hardly bring himself to look at the man. But the staff were all talking about him anxiously, thinking he was ill?

For a moment, the Dean felt a twinge of concern, mixed with guilt, for the man he had once considered not simply an employee, but also a friend.

The image of his innocent, young son rose unbidden to his mind, and instantly any sympathy he felt for Miyagi evaporated.

“Please don’t worry, Hirano-san. I can assure you that Miyagi-san is perfectly well,” he said coldly, before walking off, leaving Hirano-san staring after him in surprise.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Miyagi tossed restlessly in his bed. His eyelids fluttered as he groaned in his sleep. Shinobu was there, he was standing right there in front of him. He was so close, he could touch him.

Miyagi reached out a hand, aching to feel his lover’s smooth skin, his soft hair. Shinobu was tantalisingly close! And yet he stretched his hand out as far as he could and all that his flailing hand could grasp was air.

“Shinobu!” he called, “Shinobu!”

The boy didn’t seem to hear; instead he turned his back to Miyagi and held out his hand. A girl appeared; Miyagi couldn’t see her face clearly, though he could tell she was beautiful. She was almost as tall as Shinobu himself and wore a stunning apricot coloured kimono with a pale gold obi. Her long, black hair was swept up and pinned in an elaborate hairdo with delicate slides, small flowers dangling from the ends that matched the colour of her kimono. She smiled gently and slipped her hand into Shinobu’s and began to lead him away.

Miyagi tried to follow, but no matter how fast he ran, Shinobu kept slipping further and further away from him. Miyagi called out to him again, louder this time, and Shinobu turned his head slightly at the sound. He looked at Miyagi impassively out of the corner of his eye, then, wrapping his arm around the girl’s shoulders, the two walked purposefully away, slowly fading into darkness.

“Shinobu!” Miyagi screamed, and he awoke with a start at the sound of his own voice crying out in the night.

He lay in his bed, tangled in sweat-soaked sheets, panting heavily. Wiping the moisture from his forehead, he groaned and turned over, burying his face in his pillow.

He didn’t get back to sleep for the rest of the night. Exhausted, his mind was plagued by the visions in his dream, mixed with memories of the Dean’s glorifying leer as he delightedly smashed Miyagi’s heart into even smaller pieces.

***

Saturday came and Miyagi moped around his flat, unable to summon the energy even to get dressed. He found himself constantly staring at the clock, watching the second hand slowly make its way full circle over and over again. As evening approached, his heart grew even heavier as he envisioned his poor Shinobu coerced into welcoming his future wife into his home.

Spurred on by this image in his head, Miyagi suddenly jumped up and practically ran into the spare room, rummaging around at the bottom of the wardrobe.

He couldn’t take it anymore; he had to see Shinobu. He had to see this girl, the one who was taking his place, whether she realised it or not.

Finally he found what he was searching for: he pulled out an old, creased, long coat from a heap of junk at the bottom of the wardrobe, along with a warm scarf, large hat and a pair of sunglasses – the very disguise that he had worn when he had confronted Shinobu and dragged him off to Sensei’s grave, in fact.

He donned the coat and scarf and grabbed the hat and glasses, then made his way down to the underground car park. Chucking the accessories onto the passenger seat, he revved the engine and tore out of the building, driving through the night to Shinobu’s family home.

Miyagi only slowed the car down when he finally pulled onto the familiar street where the Takatsuki residence loomed large and tall. He parked the car a little distance from the house and added the hat and sunglasses to his disguise, before immediately discarding the glasses as far too suspicious to be worn at night!

Hoping that no-one inside the house would see and recognise him, Miyagi pulled the hat a little further down over his eyes and stepped out of the car. Glancing around surreptitiously, he found that he was in luck; no-one else was out and about.

He quickly made his way over to the house, keeping to the shadows made by the trees along the edge of the lawn. He noted straight away that there was an extra car on the drive; his replacement was evidently present.

The light was on in the lounge. Miyagi edged around the side of the building and cautiously peered in through the small window, pulling back slightly when the tip of his hat protruded into full view.

He couldn’t see anyone properly at first, but the sound of voices was growing louder, though he was unable to make out what was being said. Then suddenly his heart squeezed tightly as Shinobu came into view, followed by the Dean who was talking loudly and gesticulating, encouraging the people behind him to sit down.

These must be Shinobu’s potential ‘in-laws’, as the Dean had called them. Miyagi ignored the parents and focussed on the girl. She was rather plain-looking, he decided maliciously. At any rate, not good enough for his Shinobu-chin. Her small eyes were set too close together and her jaw too square.

His eyes narrowed as the girl sat next to Shinobu and looked at him shyly. She spoke, and Shinobu raised his head to reply. This was the first good look Miyagi had had of Shinobu as the boy had slunk into the room with his eyes set firmly on the floor, denying Miyagi the chance to see his expression.

Miyagi didn’t know whether to be anxious or relieved. Shinobu didn’t look particularly happy. In fact, his face was paler than usual and the skin around his large eyes was dark and heavy. He didn’t seem to be especially enthralled by the suggestion of marriage, yet it pained Miyagi to see his lover so despairing.

He didn’t know how long he stood there, peeking through the window at the boy he had loved and lost. He simply couldn’t tear his eyes away from Shinobu and the girl at his side. He didn’t even move when his limbs began to grow numb from being stationary in the chill of the night.

Eventually, however, Miyagi’s attention was caught when Shinobu stood up and walked out of his sight. A few moments later he heard the sound of the front door opening and light footsteps crunching on the gravel path.

Peering around the corner of the house, he saw Shinobu standing a few feet from the doorway, arms wrapped tightly around his body, his breath making little clouds in the cold night air as he gazed up at the night sky.

“Shu-chin,” he whispered loudly.

Shinobu looked round in shock. He stared at Miyagi for a moment, taking in the ridiculous yet familiar costume, before letting out a low cry and rushing over to the older man.

Miyagi’s eyes flicked to the front door, and he pulled Shinobu back around the corner, pressing him up against the wall of the house.

“Miyagi, what are you doing here?” Shinobu asked tremulously.

“Your father told me what was going on tonight. I had to see for myself,” Miyagi replied.

Shinobu’s bottom lip started to wobble and he clung to the front of Miyagi’s coat. Gazing up at his lover despairingly, he burst out,

“He wants me to marry her. He really expects me to do it! When he first mentioned it, he made it sound like he was just trying to think of me, that it was my decision. I don’t know what happened, but now he’s gone all crazy all over again! Even my mum and Risako tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn’t listen – he’d already invited the family over, he said, so we couldn’t back out now – I mean, god forbid we lose face or insult some other family! This is only my _life_ he’s playing with! He’s just picked some random girl and he expects me to marry her and stay with her for the rest of my life?! He _knows_ I love you!”

By the time he had finished speaking, Shinobu’s voice had risen to a squeak and he was breathing so fast he was practically hyperventilating. Miyagi cupped his face and kissed him hard, pressing his body against him as he pinned him to the wall. When they broke apart, Shinobu’s big, grey eyes stared up at him, still breathing faster than normal but at least now under control.

“Shinobu,” Miyagi started, “I can’t bear the thought of you marrying that girl. You should belong to me. I want you, I miss you so badly... If I could have my way, you’d never see her, nor any other girl, ever again.” He took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to Shinobu’s. He winced as the next words haltingly tumbled from his mouth. “But… the way things are, you and I can’t be together… So, I think, maybe… Maybe you’re better off with this girl…”

“What?!” Shinobu exclaimed loudly.

Neither heard the crunch of gravel around the corner.

Miyagi squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. When he opened them again, Shinobu was staring at him in shock and horror.

“We can’t be together, Shu-chin, your family’s made sure of that. So if this girl is able to offer you the slightest chance of happiness, then I want you to take it. You’re so young – I don’t want you to miss out because of me.”

“I don’t want her!” Shinobu choked. “There is no chance of happiness if I marry her, Miyagi – I was perfectly happy with you! I want _you_ , damnit!”

Shinobu leaned his face, now streaked with tears, into Miyagi’s broad chest, feeling his lover wrap his warm, strong arms tightly around him. Miyagi breathed in the scent of Shinobu’s hair and felt his own body tremble slightly.

“Shinobu, sweetheart, it’s time you came in now. The others will wonder where you’ve got to.”

Miyagi and Shinobu sprang apart as Noriko’s soft voice disturbed the silence around them. Stepping over to her son, Noriko gently brushed away the moisture from his cheeks and kissed his forehead lightly. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders, she guided him slowly away from Miyagi and back towards the door to the house, sparing the other man a quick glance.

Miyagi’s eyes widened in confusion. The last time he had seen Shinobu’s mother, she had resolutely backed up the Dean, completely confident of their decision to put a stop to their son’s relationship with him. Yet now, for just a second, he almost thought she had given him a small, sad smile.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

A few days later, Miyagi and Hiroki were in their office finishing off the last touches to their latest research report.

“No, no, that bit doesn’t sound quite right,” Hiroki frowned.

“Well, come on, we’ve got to give it to the Dean today and he’ll be leaving shortly!” Miyagi huffed impatiently, glancing at the clock.

Hiroki’s fingers flew over the keyboard as he rephrased the end of their conclusion.

“There! Check that, what do you think?”

Miyagi read the text quickly and acknowledged that it was now clearer and more concise.

“Good work, Kamijou. Quick, print it off and I’ll run it down to the Dean’s office before he leaves.”

 

***

 

At that same moment, Risako and Shinobu were striding down the corridor to their father’s office.

“I can’t believe he’s so late, he _knows_ I’m meeting up with Shuichi later!” Risako grumbled. “What was the point of telling us he’d meet us at the restaurant, I knew we’d end up having to come here to drag him away!”

Shinobu said nothing. Simply being back in the familiar halls of Mitsuhashi University, so close to Miyagi’s office, was painful; he didn’t trust his voice to stay steady if he spoke.

They reached the Dean’s office and Risako knocked loudly and opened the door. Their father looked up from behind his desk where he was frantically sorting through some papers.

“Ah, you two. Yes, I know, I know, you don’t have to look at me like that, Risako! I’m getting ready as fast as I can, but I do have a duty to do my work properly you know!”

“Hmm,” Risako murmured, scowling, as she dropped into one of the chairs in front of the desk.

Shinobu merely moved to the side of the office, leaning his back against the wall and staring at the carpet. He couldn’t wait to get out of there, though honestly he didn’t relish going out to dinner with his father and sister either. His mother had dinner plans with some girlfriends that evening, which was why the rest of the family had decided to dine out, rather than have to cook for themselves.

Just as the Dean was packing the last few papers into a folder to take home, the door burst open and in strode Miyagi.

“Sir! Before you go, here’s the research paper you ask- ” he stopped mid-sentence as he looked around the room, spotting first his ex-wife and then Shinobu standing against the wall.

Shinobu’s head had shot up when Miyagi had entered the room, and he stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the tall man in front of him, his heart hammering in his chest.

Miyagi stared back at him, unable to tear his eyes away from him.

“Ahem,” the Dean coughed loudly, an irritated look in his eyes. “Kyouju, you were saying? That’s the latest research you’ve done with Kamijou? Can you let me have it please?” He held out his hand.

Miyagi gulped and looked round at him. He walked stiffly over to the desk and handed over the wad of paper. His eyes immediately flicked back to Shinobu.

“Was there anything else?” the Dean asked sharply.

Miyagi started. “Um, no, nothing, sir.”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m a bit pressed for time now, have to get on, so if you don’t mind…” The Dean looked pointedly at the door.

Miyagi took the hint. “Yes, sir,” he replied, bowing. His eyes sought out Shinobu one last time, before he hurried swiftly out of the room, closing the door behind him.

The Dean scowled at Miyagi’s unwelcome visit while his son was present and returned to packing his briefcase. He looked up suddenly, however, when his ears caught the sound of little panting breaths.

“Shinobu!” Risako exclaimed.

Shinobu’s eyes were fixed on the door through which Miyagi had just left, his arms clenched tightly around his middle. His pale face was a picture of pure misery. Tears slid down his cheeks and he gave a sudden wail and slid to the floor.

The Dean was shocked at his son’s sudden breakdown; apart from the first few days after they had been discovered, Shinobu hadn’t cried openly at all, but had managed to remain calm and controlled, albeit not quite his usual self.

Anxious, he darted forward and knelt on the floor next to his son and tried to embrace him. Shinobu struggled at first, but his father clutched him tightly and held him to his breast, rocking him gently to try and soothe him.

“Miyagi!” Shinobu sobbed, “Miyagi! Please… I want Miyagi! Don’t make me marry her… Please don’t make me marry her… I just want Miyagi.”

The Dean felt a stirring of panic; he had never heard his strong, wilful son beg anyone for anything before. He held his shaking, sobbing child in his arms and closed his eyes in worry.

 

***

 

Miyagi burst into the office he shared with Hiroki and slammed the door behind him. Saying nothing, he went straight to his desk and pulled on his suit jacket. Grabbing his briefcase with shaking hands, he threw some papers inside and closed it.

Hiroki watched him anxiously.

“Kyouju, what happened? Is everything ok? What are you doing?”

“Everything’s fine. I’ve finished all my lectures for today so I think I’m just going to head home. I’ll see you tomorrow, Kamijou,” he replied shortly, and marched out of the room, leaving a stunned Hiroki behind him.

Miyagi drove home quickly, his attention not really on the road and so only narrowly missed having an accident a couple of times. Horns beeped at him, but he took no notice.

Upon arriving home, the first thing he did was dig out of a cupboard a dusty bottle of sake. It was a good vintage which he had been saving for a special occasion; now, however, he couldn’t care less, unable to foresee a time when he would be celebrating anything. He poured himself a generous shot and downed the alcohol in one gulp.

Moving to the sofa, he sat down and poured out another measure, standing the bottle on the coffee table. This one too he drank in a single gulp.

By the time half the bottle was gone, he was pacing unevenly up and down the floor. His head was filled with images of Shinobu: today in the office, on Saturday with his future in-laws, at the restaurant with the Director… Even though they were no longer together, they kept bumping into each other and Miyagi couldn’t get the boy out of his head.

It was getting to be too much, too painful. He just couldn’t go on like this - something had to be done; possibly even something he really didn’t want to do.

At about half past midnight, when he had drunk and then pissed away three quarters of the bottle of sake, and knocked the rest over onto the floor, Miyagi finally made a decision.

 

***

 

The Dean looked up when he heard a knock on the door to his office.

“Come in,” he called, surprised when Miyagi came into the room and closed the door behind him. His lips thinned as he recalled the scene the other day that had resulted in his son reduced to a convulsing puddle of tears on the floor.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you, sir,” Miyagi said quietly as he settled into a seat opposite the Dean. “This is quite important, however.”

“Not at all, Kyouju,” the Dean replied. “What can I help you with?”

Miyagi handed him a letter enclosed in a white envelope.

“What’s this?” the Dean asked, confused.

“I regret that I must tender my resignation as Literature Professor, sir,” Miyagi explained in a low voice.

“What?!” the Dean looked up in shock.

“I-I can’t stay here. You must see why. You’re my boss, we have to work together and this just isn’t working. The situation is too awkward, the atmosphere is too tense. You can hardly look at me. It’s unfair to the students and the university as a whole if we can’t work together properly. And, honestly, seeing Shinobu here yesterday… And the dinner with the Director and everything – all of that can and probably will just keep happening again and again. And I can’t take that. I can’t keep bumping into him, I can’t see him around like that, it’s too much for me. Especially once he’s married. I am sorry, but I just can’t. So I think it’s best for everyone if I leave.”

The Dean stared in disbelief at the man in front of him who suddenly seemed so beaten.

“I thought you loved your job?”

“I do,” Miyagi replied heavily. “Very much.”

“Have you found another post to go to?”

“No, not yet. But I’m sure I’ll find something.”

“You could try Teito, you know, they have a very good Literature department, I’m sure you would make an excellent addition.”

Miyagi winced. “I don’t think Teito is a good idea, sir. There’s even more chance of me bumping into Shinobu there, after all…”

“Ah, of course,” the Dean acknowledged, suddenly remembering that his son was on Teito’s law program.

“Actually, I was thinking to maybe get out of Tokyo altogether, try somewhere else. Osaka perhaps.”

“Right. Well, if that’s what you want… I know the students will all miss you. Kamijou too, I’m sure.”

“I’ll work up until the next holiday break. That should give you enough time to find a replacement.”

“Thank you, Miyagi-kun. Well… Good luck, then,” the Dean sighed.

“Thank you, sir.” Miyagi stood up and bowed deeply and left the room.

 

***

 

The Dean returned home that evening with a troubled heart. He shut himself up in his office and only emerged when his wife called him to dinner. He ate slowly, not really listening to the others’ conversation, and then returned to his office.

At the end of the day, Noriko was reading in bed, propped up against her pillows. The Dean pulled back the covers and climbed in next to her, sighing heavily. Frowning, she took off her glasses, put down her book and turned to her husband.

“What on earth is the matter, dear? You’ve been huffing and sighing dramatically all evening!”

“It’s this damned business with Shinobu and Miyagi…” the Dean grumbled.

“What’s happened now?” Noriko asked, concerned.

“Oh… Well, after that little incident the other day, not only did I have Shinobu in a complete state, but today Miyagi came to me and told me he can’t handle it anymore. He’s handed in his notice! He’s leaving the university at the end of the semester!”

“What?!” Noriko exclaimed loudly. “He’s quitting his job?! Where’s he going to go?”

“He doesn’t know – apparently this whole business has made him completely lose his wits. I always thought he was one of the smartest people I knew, but to just quit a good job without having another to go to… Lecturing positions don’t just turn up every day, it’s not like there’s a university on every street corner! I just don’t know what to do. I’m starting to think… possibly… I may have pushed them both too far? Have I really made a mistake?” He turned anxiously to his wife.

Noriko smiled gently at her husband. At last he was starting to see sense. It had taken a long time, but he was well-meaning and finally getting there, on his own.

“They really do love each other, you know. I know it’s not an ideal situation – well, it’s a terrible one, of course! But still, their feelings for each other are genuine and strong. Surely that makes them a better match than Shinobu and Sato-san’s daughter, don’t you think? Shinobu barely even knows the girl! How can we be sure that they would get on in each other’s company for the rest of their lives? Miyagi-kun really does seem so desperately fond of Shinobu.”

The Dean acknowledged this with a reluctant nod, frowning. “But they’re both _men_ , Noriko! And Miyagi’s so much older than Shinobu! I don’t want my son to regret his choice when he’s older.”

“I think that if you don’t give them some freedom and let them be together, then the one with regrets in the end will be you,” his wife replied simply. “Miyagi-kun is willing to give up his job because of his feelings for our son – isn’t that proof enough of his love? What greater sacrifice can you ask for from him, after all? He’s made Shinobu his top priority, which is more than can be said for his marriage to Risako.”

“… Maybe… I guess…” the Dean said quietly. He slid further down under the covers and turned onto his side, turning off the bedside light. Sighing once more, he closed his eyes, knowing that his troubled mind was unlikely to allow him much sleep that night.

Miyagi had handed in his notice. Shinobu seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown. Both his wife and his daughter had decided to support the two men. He was going to have to make a final decision very soon, one way or the other. But which was truly best? To continue on his current path, let Miyagi go his own way and free Shinobu from an older, male lover who had also once been his sister’s husband? Or to go against all his instincts and give them a chance to figure out their destiny on their own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the drama!! :D


	15. Chapter Fifteen

The Dean pondered this question often over the following days. It was a Saturday evening, two weeks after Shinobu had met his potential future wife, when the Dean finally stood at the bottom of the stairs and in a grumpy voice shouted to his son to come down.

Shinobu was sitting in his usual position at his bedroom window, staring into the night. He sighed heavily when he heard his father’s voice, wondering what terrible act he had committed now. He debated for a moment whether to go down, but in the end he peeled himself away from the window and stood up.

He had been sitting in the same position for so long that his legs felt stiff and a little shaky. He stumbled out of his room and plodded reluctantly down the stairs.

He was somewhat surprised to find the rest of his family grouped around the kitchen table. What is this, he wondered, some kind of intervention? But he and Miyagi were no longer together, so what did they have to complain about?

“Sit down, Shinobu,” his father instructed.

He slid into a seat next to his sister, and Risako gave his arm a little squeeze.

“We need to talk to you about something very important, sweetheart,” his mother said gravely.

Shinobu shifted uncomfortably.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Well, we’ve had a long discussion, and we’ve come to the decision that we’re willing to let you see Miyagi-kun.”

Shinobu’s sad grey eyes grew wide with disbelief. He stared at each of his family in turn, unable to breathe as the air was suddenly too much for his tight chest to hold. He looked back at his mother and, unable to speak, simply mouthed the word,

“What?”

Noriko smiled gently at her son, who was so overwhelmed.

“We’ve come to realise that you both have strong feelings for each other. We still don’t think it’s a perfect relationship; it probably still would be best if you found someone else more similar to you, closer in age and so on… But none of us can stand seeing you so unhappy, baby, and so we’ve decided to let you see him again and just see how the relationship goes.”

Shinobu gave a great sob; he clapped his hands to his mouth as his eyes filled up with tears. Looking at his father, he blurted,

“But what about Sato-san’s daughter? I thought you wanted me to marry her?”

The Dean pressed his lips together.

“Yes, well… I can’t say I’m particularly happy about this – I don’t think Miyagi-kun is really a suitable match for you. But I suppose an arranged marriage isn’t the right thing for you either. Miyagi does seem to harbour some strong feelings for you… Like your mother said, I’m willing to stand by and let you get on with it and see how it goes, one way or the other.

But, I warn you, there are going to be conditions to this, understand? We can go through them when Miyagi gets here.”

_When Miyagi gets here_. Shinobu’s eyes grew even wider, and he stuttered,

“M-miyagi’s c-coming? You’ve a-asked h-him round al-already?”

“No,” Risako replied. “We thought we’d leave that to you. Why don’t you go and give him a call?”

Shinobu sat frozen for a moment, staring at his family, still unable to believe what was happening. He suddenly jumped up and dashed out into the hallway, fumbling with his phone. His eyes were so filled with tears that he could hardly make out the numbers on the screen.

He couldn’t wait to hear his lover’s voice.

“… Shinobu?” Miyagi asked, his deep voice tinged with surprise.

“Miyagi! Oh, Miyagi! I don’t know how… But somehow… It’s ok… You and I…”

“Shinobu, what on earth are you talking about?” Miyagi asked, confused.

“My family…” Shinobu explained. “They’re ok now. With us, I mean. I don’t even know how or why, but, Miyagi, they’re letting me see you, they’re letting us be together! I need you, please can you come round? Right now!”

Miyagi was speechless.

“Miyagi?”

“Shinobu… Did I hear you right? Your family – your dad – is letting us get back together?”

“YES! Please, come over! I need to see you!”

Miyagi was still in shock, but the sound of his lover’s insistent, pleading voice roused him.

“Shinobu, don’t go anywhere, I’m coming for you now.”

Hanging up the phone, Miyagi grabbed his car keys, slipped on his shoes and ran out the door, running as fast as he could towards the boy he loved.

 

***

 

Miyagi’s car tore through the streets, screeching around corners, and still he pressed harder on the accelerator.

Shinobu, Shinobu, he had to get to Shinobu…

Forced to brake suddenly at a red light, he swore impatiently and hit the steering wheel with his palm. Calm down, he suddenly thought to himself. You’re an adult! Stop being so reckless!

Suddenly aware of how dangerously he was behaving, when the lights changed he made sure to stay at a sensible, safe speed, though his heart was still pounding desperately, anxious to be reunited with his lover.

He was still in shock; he couldn’t understand what had suddenly made Shinobu’s family change their minds. It was true that Risako had reacted slightly more favourably than expected, but after the Dean’s antagonistic behaviour, it was unbelievable to think that he was now ok with their relationship.

Miyagi pulled to a stop opposite Shinobu’s family home and paused for a moment, troubled. Was it really all over, he really could have Shinobu back? He wanted so much for it to be true, but it hardly seemed possible. What if the Dean had changed his mind about having Miyagi arrested and this was all a trap?

But then, Shinobu would never have called him himself, he’d never have agreed to be part of it.

There was nothing he could do anyway; there was no way he could turn back, not when there was the slightest chance that he and Shinobu could genuinely be together again.

Alighting from the car, he slammed the door behind him, locked it and hurried over to the house.

He had barely pressed the bell before the door was flung open. Just like before, Shinobu was standing there, full of emotion. He stared at him for just a second before darting forwards, grabbing handfuls of Miyagi’s shirt and burying his face in his chest. This time, however, when Miyagi tilted his face upwards, Shinobu was beaming, a broad, ecstatic smile lighting up his face.

Shinobu stepped backwards, dragging Miyagi into the house. Miyagi batted the door shut behind him, then reached out and pulled Shinobu into a tight hug. He breathed in the familiar scent of his hair and leaned down to murmur in his ear,

“Shu-chin… Is this real? Not some kind of joke, or trap or something? They’re truly letting us be together?”

Shinobu looked up happily.

“Yes,” he replied, “I don’t really know how – but they seem to have changed their minds.”

“Won’t you both come in here for a few minutes. We want to talk to you.” the Dean said, emerging from the kitchen behind Shinobu.

He gestured for the two to go ahead of him into the kitchen. Miyagi took one of Shinobu’s hands firmly in his own and looked almost defiantly at the Dean as he let Shinobu pull him gently into the other room.

Risako and her mother were still sitting at the table. They smiled lightly, albeit a little strained, and greeted Miyagi when he entered the room. Taking seats at the end of the table, Miyagi and Shinobu didn’t let go of each other’s hand, continuing to clasp each other tightly under the table. The Dean also returned to his seat.

“Well, Miyagi-kun, Shinobu’s told you that we have decided to accept your relationship, hasn’t he?” Noriko asked.

“For the time being,” the Dean added under his breath.

Miyagi glanced worriedly at his boss. Looking back at his ex-mother-in-law, he replied,

“Yes – and I’m very grateful, though rather surprised.”

“I’m sure you are. You have your ex-wife to thank for a large part,” she answered pointedly. “Risako has become quite convinced of your mutual feelings for each other and it has been largely through her efforts that my husband and I have also been persuaded. I do believe that you care deeply for my son, but we have to point out that we all still have reservations about this relationship. I hope you both realise that you’re not going to have an easy life together, even with our support. But we’re prepared to give you a chance, and see how it turns out – maybe you’ll prove us wrong; or maybe the relationship will naturally take its course and peter out and no further harm will be done.”

Shinobu turned slightly at his mother’s words and looked surreptitiously at his lover through long eyelashes. They would prove them wrong; he couldn’t ever imagine a time when he could look at Miyagi without his heart pounding; their love would never fade.

“We have got some conditions, however,” the Dean broke in loudly. He could still hardly bring himself to look at the dark haired man who had married and neglected his daughter and had now run off with his son.

“Firstly – we don’t want you parading yourselves around in public. This is a delicate situation as it is, and particularly since Shinobu is still technically underage.” He pursed his lips at this thought. “People around here aren’t used to seeing two – men – together… So we expect you both to comport yourselves as befits two _adults_.”

Miyagi and Shinobu each nodded.

“We’ve always been careful in public anyway, we’re not about to go around making public displays of affection all over the place,” Shinobu pointed out.

“Not only that,” his father continued, “but we expect you to control yourselves in private too. Obviously, as Shinobu’s father, I can hardly bear to think about the two of you doing any more of the atrocious acts on that ghastly tape…”

The couple in question both frowned at this; neither would ever have described their love-making as ‘atrocious’ or ‘ghastly’!

“…though I suppose I shouldn’t be naïve about it – you’re bound to end up doing _something…_ ” he shuddered. “But generally when you’re with us, and in particular when with your sister, Shinobu, it’s not appropriate to be hanging all over each other.”

“So, what then? We have to pretend that we’re not seeing each other when we’re with you? We can’t hug or kiss or even hold hands?” Shinobu burst out angrily.

“Well, I generally prefer to keep my food down,” his father mumbled under his breath, earning him a furious glare from his son.

Noriko hastened to intervene.

“No-one’s saying that, sweetheart – we want you to be happy, we’re giving you a chance to be a couple, so we don’t expect you to pretend that you’re not. All we ask is that you remember that you’re in company and also take into consideration our feelings – this has been a huge shock for all of us, and as much as we want to support you, it’s not going to be an easy thing for us to adjust to. Obviously we need to make a lot of effort too to be accepting – but it’s a two-way process, do you see?”

“’Spose,” Shinobu grumbled grudgingly. “Any more conditions??”

“We expect you both to always make sure you’re _safe_ , if you know what I mean…” Noriko added pointedly, causing her son to flush and Miyagi to stare at the table in deep embarrassment.

“And we hope that you will both always be respectful to each other – so if either of you ever changes your mind, the other will let him go peacefully and without any great dramatics like the scenes we’ve had lately,” the Dean said, crossing his fingers that Shinobu would one day see reason.

“Well, I think that’s all,” Risako finally spoke.

“Do you two accept these conditions?” Noriko asked.

Both Miyagi and Shinobu quickly agreed, then Shinobu stood up.

“Well, if that’s everything, I’m going to pack my things – I’ll be moving back to my apartment, Miyagi can take me.”

The others also rose from the table and started to leave the kitchen. Shinobu had already gone forward and was at the foot of the stairs when Miyagi felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking around, he saw the Dean standing behind him, a stern expression on his face.

“A word, please, Miyagi.”

He pulled Miyagi back into the room. Keeping his hand on his shoulder, he stared grimly into his eyes as he said,

“Now just between you and me – I’m still none too happy about this arrangement.”

“I had noticed, sir,” Miyagi replied dryly.

“Just remember, Miyagi, that I’m letting this go ahead for Shinobu, and Shinobu only. I care deeply about my boy and I hate to see him as miserable as he’s been the last couple of months. So it’s for his sake that I’m giving you this chance. But I’m warning you – this is the only chance you get. If you hurt my son, there will be no more chances, no forgiveness – there will only be retribution.”

He squeezed Miyagi’s shoulder tightly for just a moment and made to leave the room. Pausing, he turned and added,

“Oh, by the way – about your resignation – it’s rejected. I expect to see you at work after the holidays as normal.”

With that, he turned away and stalked out of the room. Miyagi stood stock still for several minutes, only stirring when Shinobu rejoined him, his bag of belongings slung over his shoulder.

“Miyagi? I’m ready,” he called softly.

Miyagi looked up and smiled gently when he saw Shinobu in the doorway. He walked over to him and brushed the boy’s lips with his own. Then, taking his free hand, he led him out of the house and to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The suffering is over! Not too much left of this fic now, just another couple of chapters...


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter this time. One final chapter to go after this!
> 
> Some lovin' in this one ;)

They rode in silence back to the apartment building, both too overwhelmed to talk. Miyagi felt he needed all his concentration just to focus on driving; all he wanted to do was stare at Shinobu, drinking in the sight of his lover whom he had barely seen over the past three months.

Shinobu was trembling. Miyagi’s car felt so familiar, the smell, the touch of the cool, smooth, creamy leather. He kept sneaking glances at Miyagi out of the corner of his eye; he only dared to look for a few seconds at a time, feeling that if he looked at him for any longer than that, his heart might burst. 

At last, they left the car in the car park situated underneath their apartment block and stepped into the lift. Miyagi pressed the button for their floor and moved to stand next to Shinobu. Their hands brushed against each other and Shinobu shivered from the jolt of electricity that passed between them. Linking their fingers together, once the lift had stopped, they stepped out of the open doors and walked down the corridor side by side.

Miyagi reluctantly let go of Shinobu’s hand as he unlocked his apartment door. Pushing it open, he looked down at his lover. His mouth quirked slightly as he said in a quiet voice,

“Welcome home, Shu-chin.”

He guided the boy over the threshold and closed the door behind him. Turning to his lover, they both stood silently watching each other for a moment. Then Miyagi slowly stepped forward and gently slid Shinobu’s coat off his shoulders. It slid all the way down his arms and fell to the floor, pooling at his feet.

Miyagi’s hands were still resting on the boy’s shoulders, and Shinobu relished their warm, heavy weight, feeling the heat sweep through his body, melting away the numbness that had gripped him for weeks. Slowly, Miyagi slid his hands up to cup Shinobu’s small, pointed, delicate face.

He stepped closer and Shinobu’s eyes followed his every movement. The pads of his thumbs brushed the soft skin of Shinobu’s cheeks, and slowly Miyagi bent his head and leaned towards Shinobu.

Shinobu’s eyes drifted shut and he grabbed handfuls of Miyagi’s shirt, feeling his legs become weak. At last, soft lips pressed against his and he gasped, his heart leaping at the contact.

Miyagi kissed him sweetly, his hands moving from Shinobu’s face to encircle the boy’s waist with his arms, helping to keep him upright. Finally, they broke apart for air and Miyagi smiled at his lover, who was at last back where he belonged.

Slipping off his shoes, he pulled Shinobu further into the apartment.

“Miyagi,” a small voice behind him said.

“Hmm?” he replied in a dreamy voice.

“I’m sorry – about my family, I mean. About what they put us through…”

Miyagi paused at this, then turned and gathered his lover up tightly in his arms.

“You don’t ever need to apologise, Shu. None of this was your fault – really it’s me who should be apologising to you. And to be honest, I can completely understand their reaction, though I didn’t like it – and I’m still quite bewildered as to why they so suddenly changed their minds. But the main thing for me is that you’re mine again, Shinobu-chin. And I don’t intend to ever lose you again.”

With that, he pressed his lips to Shinobu’s once again, hungrily this time, his tongue demanding entrance to his lover’s hot mouth.

Shinobu moaned contentedly under the onslaught and parted his lips to allow Miyagi to enter. They kissed again and again, suddenly unable to keep their hands off each other.

Fingers grasped at each other, unable to get enough. Miyagi delighted in the feel of Shinobu’s soft, silky hair running through his fingers. He peppered Shinobu’s face and neck with quick kisses and light nips, reminding himself of the feel and taste of his lover, revelling in the boy’s involuntary moans and gasps.

Shinobu trembled in his arms. His body was on fire from Miyagi’s touch, and after three months of abstinence, he was desperate to feel Miyagi’s smooth, taut skin pressed against his own. His nimble fingers went to work on the buttons of Miyagi’s shirt, running his hands hungrily over the strong chest underneath when he finally had access.

Groaning, Miyagi stripped off his shirt completely and tossed it aside. He made quick work of Shinobu’s attire, stripping the boy naked in mere seconds. His own trousers were becoming incredibly uncomfortable, his engorged cock trapped and straining against the tight fabric. Yanking them off, he scooped Shinobu up into his arms and carried him into the bedroom.

Placing him carefully on the bed, he lay down beside him and kissed him deeply, their tongues swirling together. He ran his hand down the length of Shinobu’s body, from his chest down his flat stomach, over his hip and along his thigh, then made his way back up, just brushing the skin with the tips of his fingers.

Shinobu jerked at the touch, a small laugh that sounded almost like a short bark tumbling out of his mouth.

“Miyagi… Tickles!” he muttered.

Miyagi laughed and instead moved to fondling Shinobu’s nipples as he nibbled on his collar bone. Shinobu’s hips jutted up and his hardened cock pushed against Miyagi’s leg.

Miyagi wanted to take it slowly; now he finally had Shinobu back after months apart, he had been determined to make it last, to re-discover his lover’s body slowly, languidly exploring every inch of him. But now, in the heat of the moment, with Shinobu writhing and moaning so deliciously underneath him, he felt his control start to slip.

Plunging his hand down, he grabbed hold of Shinobu’s dripping member, squeezing it and pumping gently. His motions had an immediate effect on Shinobu, who urgently started jerking his hips upwards. Miyagi was amused to see that unconsciously Shinobu had spread his legs wide apart, and he lost no time kneeling down and burying his head between them, licking and sucking Shinobu all over.

His own cock throbbed impatiently, yet he tried not to touch it, afraid that if he did, it would all be over too soon. Still, it wasn’t long before he could wait no more. Looking up, he said,

“Shu-chin, I really need you now… Is it ok?”

Shinobu nodded rapidly, desperate for Miyagi to finally take him. He gasped when he felt Miyagi press one moistened finger and then another into him.

Miyagi prepared Shinobu as quickly and carefully as he could. Withdrawing his fingers, he finally, slowly, penetrated his lover, pushing as deep as he could inside him. The boy was even tighter than usual, and Miyagi had to pause halfway inside to control himself, fighting to fend off his orgasm before he’d even had a chance to make love properly to his lover.

Slowly he moved in and out of Shinobu, pressing their bodies together tightly, their legs intertwined. Shinobu clung desperately to Miyagi, leaning up to kiss him passionately.

Panting and moaning together, words of love rolled off each of their tongues as they pushed each other closer and closer to the edge of bliss.

At last, they both cried out, every inch of their bodies electrified with pleasure. They collapsed in each other’s arms, breathing heavily. Miyagi rolled off Shinobu, but scooped him up in his arms, holding him close as he pulled the blankets over their exhausted bodies.

“Shinobu-chin,” he whispered. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

Shinobu wrapped his arms tightly around Miyagi’s waist and buried his sweat-dampened face in his chest.

“I’m never leaving you again, Miyagi. I love you, old man.”

“Love you too, brat.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen - Epilogue

Shinobu burst through the door, stomping into the living room. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Miyagi sprawled out on the sofa, eyes glued to the football match on the television.

Crossing his arms, he moved to stand in front of the screen, blocking Miyagi’s view.

“Hey!” Miyagi cried out, looking in surprise at his irate boyfriend.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I bothering you?” Shinobu asked sarcastically.

“Shu-chin, what’s the matter?”

“ _What’s the matter?_ ” Shinobu repeated in astonishment. “How about the fact that you were supposed to meet me for lunch after I’d finished helping my mum get sorted for her holiday? How about the fact that we’re supposed to be proving to them all that we’re a proper, loving, caring couple, and yet you completely forgot about me and stood me up in front of my mother?!”

Miyagi’s mouth dropped open. Ah yes – he’d thought there was something he’d had to do today, but it had completely slipped his mind.

“Shit, I’m really sorry, Shu – I’ll make it up to you!”

“Yes, you bloody well will!” Shinobu retorted.

“Why don’t you come here and let me look after you?” Miyagi offered, patting the seat next to him on the sofa.

Shinobu’s face hardened.

“I’m not really in the mood right now. And you’re not getting out of it that easily! I’m free all next Saturday, you can make it up to me then. I want a date – a proper one! One that has nothing to do with Matsuo Bashou!”

“A date? Ok – what do you want to do then?”

“I don’t know! You think of something! Just make sure it’s special – I want something romantic!”

And with that, he marched out of the flat, slamming the door behind him.

Something romantic? Damn, Miyagi thought, what the hell am I going to do?

 

***

 

Saturday morning finally came, and Shinobu’s eyelids fluttered open early, the excitement that had built up during the week hitting him hard. He had tried not to let it show, anxious that he would appear childish to Miyagi, but the prospect of spending a whole day with his lover, just the two of them, no work nor family nor any obligations to intrude, thrilled him.

He was also greatly looking forward to seeing what surprise Miyagi had in store for him, especially as he had demanded something particularly romantic.

He glanced at the clock and saw it was 7.45am. Far too early for a teenager to normally be up! He stretched lightly and turned over, a sleepy half-smile on his features as he reached out to cuddle up to Miyagi.

The smile disappeared as he realised that Miyagi wasn’t there. In fact, the sheets were cold. A knot of fear churned in his stomach as he wondered whether their reunion had been a dream after all; then reason returned to him as he realised that couldn’t be the case – he was, after all, currently in Miyagi’s bed.

He pushed back the covers and hopped out of bed to go and find his lover. The man wasn’t in the kitchen making breakfast, as he had hoped; nor was he in the living room. Shinobu checked the bathroom but it too was empty and dark.

He stood in the middle of the lounge feeling frustrated. It wasn’t even eight in the morning and Miyagi wasn’t here. Where was he?

Then he felt a sudden flash of hope and excitement – maybe Miyagi had popped out to buy them breakfast, some fresh bread perhaps, maybe even croissants? Though he could have left him a note, Shinobu thought.

He wandered into the kitchen and grabbed the cartoon of orange juice from the fridge. Pouring himself a glass, he downed it in one go, then wiped any remaining traces of moisture from his lips. Setting the glass down in the sink, he resolved to be ready for when Miyagi came home.

Ignoring his rumbling stomach which had awakened at the taste of the juice, he went into the bathroom, put out a fresh towel and stripped off his nightclothes, stepping into the shower.

He cleaned himself carefully and thoroughly, then stepped out of the shower, wrapping the towel around his dripping body. He smirked at the thought of what would probably happen if Miyagi came home now.

He dried himself off and put on some fresh, clean clothes, before settling down on the sofa with a book to wait until Miyagi came home.

Except that Miyagi didn’t come home.

By nine thirty, Shinobu figured he’d waited long enough for breakfast and went to fix himself a bowl of cereal. He chomped the wheat flakes loudly, annoyed that he was reduced to eating boring, everyday breakfast instead of the delicious foodstuffs he had pictured Miyagi returning home with.

By quarter to twelve, Shinobu had finished his book and was flicking through television channels aimlessly, finding nothing but tedious children’s programmes and dull chat shows to entertain him. His frown deepened.

By half past four, he was striding furiously back and forth across the living room, incensed that _yet again_ Miyagi had forgotten their date. He had been gone the entire day, hadn’t even bothered to contact Shinobu at all, and had completely wasted Shinobu’s precious time.

Worst of all, Shinobu felt, was that he had been so incredibly excited, so full of anticipation, wondering what his lover was going to do to show him how special he was.

Huh. Special to Miyagi? That too had probably been a fantasy, he should have listened to his sister when she said Miyagi would never be able to think about or feel for anyone else.

He felt tears spring to his eyes at this thought, and although he tried to fight them, the disappointment and loneliness he felt were too strong. Sitting back down on the sofa, he hugged his knees and let his tears slide silently down his cheeks.

When Miyagi finally came home at about seven thirty that evening, it was to an apartment in darkness. He frowned in puzzlement as he slipped off his shoes and called out to Shinobu. No-one answered.

Moving further into the apartment, as his lover had done that very morning he began to search each room, looking for the boy.

He found him in their bedroom. Bored, sad and tired, Shinobu had eventually retreated to the comfort and warmth of their bed.

Miyagi sat down on the edge of the mattress and reached out to run his fingers through Shinobu’s honey-coloured hair.

“Shu-chin? Are you ok?” he asked with concern.

Sleepy eyes turned to him.

“You’re not ill, are you?”

“No,” Shinobu replied distantly. “Where’ve you been? You’ve been gone all day!”

“I had some things I had to sort out.”

Shinobu’s eyebrow quirked at this and he nodded grimly.

“Did you get them all done?”

“Yep!” Miyagi replied cheerfully. “So now you need to get your arse out of bed! Come on, lazy bones.”

“What for?” Shinobu responded grumpily.

“What? Don’t say you’ve forgotten our date?” Miyagi cried out in indignation.

Shinobu’s head whipped round and he glared at his lover.

“Of course _I_ haven’t forgotten it! But in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s too late, Miyagi! It’s the end of the day!”

“Nonsense! There’s plenty of time left!”

“For what? Just dinner, I guess. Well, fine then! But it had better not be another Bashou diner!”

Shinobu yanked the bed covers angrily off his body and stood up, moving to change into something more fresh. He didn’t get far, however, before he was stopped by a tight grip on his arm. He glared round at Miyagi, whose own eyes narrowed for a moment in response.

Miyagi sighed and relaxed his grip slightly on Shinobu’s arm. His other hand moved to the boy’s waist and he pulled him closer.

“Shu-chin,” he said in a quiet voice, “I’d not forgotten, nor had I ever planned to take you on such a lame date - again! If you really want to know, I’ve been out all day trying to make this date as damn near perfect as I could, so why don’t you just wait and see what it is before you have a go at me, hmm?”

Shinobu felt a twinge of guilt at Miyagi’s admission that he had spent the day planning the perfect date for the two of them.

“Still, you could have at least told me where you were or when you’d be back. I’ve been hanging around all day waiting for you!”

Miyagi rested his forehead against Shinobu’s.

“Yeah, you’re right, I should have. I’m sorry! But let’s put all this behind us – I’ve got a treat for you! Go get yourself tidied up while I get the car ready, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

With that, Miyagi kissed Shinobu gently and sent him out of the room, smacking his arse lightly as he went.

It was stormy outside. They drove through the dark streets, rain lashing at the windows. About fifteen minutes into the journey, Shinobu began to get a bad feeling as he realised they were following a very familiar route. Sure enough, his heart sank when Miyagi pulled off the road into the underground staff car park at Mitsuhashi University.

Stopping the car, he looked round at Shinobu with a faint smirk on his face. Shinobu turned and gave him a cold glare.

“You brought me to your work place? What are we going to do, spend the evening romantically marking essays??”

“So little faith, Shinobu-chin!” Miyagi bemoaned good-naturedly. “Why don’t you just trust me a little?”

Saying that, he hopped out of the car and went round to the other side, opening Shinobu’s door for him. Taking his hand, he led him into the building; but instead of following the usual, familiar corridors down to the literature block, he took him along a whole new route.

Eventually Miyagi turned to him at the junction to a new corridor.

“Just wait here a moment, Shu-chin, I’ll be back in a minute, ok?”

He squeezed his hand and hurried off, disappearing around the corner. Shinobu took a few moments to look around himself. Peering through the small window in the door to the nearest room, he saw rows of tall surfaces, all with a small, inlaid basin at each end and Bunsen burners standing at intervals along the edge.

His confusion deepened. Miyagi had brought him to the University’s science labs? For a date? On a Saturday evening?

He heard the sound of footsteps returning and looked up, seeing Miyagi reappear from around the corner and walk towards him, looking excited and rather pleased with himself.

“Right, Shu-chin, are you ready?” Miyagi took Shinobu’s hands. “Close your eyes – and don’t you dare peep, alright?”

“Miyagi, what’s going on?” Shinobu whined.

“It’s a surprise! So do as you’re told!”

Shinobu sighed and closed his eyes, feeling Miyagi pull gently at his hands, guiding him down the corridor.

He didn’t know where they were going, but as they drew near and Miyagi started to slow down, Shinobu thought that he could just hear the faint sound of birds over the noise of the wind and rain whipping against the window panes.

“Keep your eyes closed,” Miyagi whispered as he let go of one of Shinobu’s hands. Shinobu heard a door creak open and suddenly the gentle sound of twittering birds grew louder; not only that but Shinobu could hear the repetitive trill of insects, cicadas or crickets perhaps. There was a gentle rustling, as of leaves moving in a light breeze and Shinobu shivered, feeling pin pricks along his back as if the breeze were tickling his skin.

He no longer felt like he was in the corridors of the University. The echoing sound of their shoes on the vinyl floor of the corridor was silent in this new room. The ground felt soft underfoot, like a deep, springy carpet. The smell of the science labs had disappeared, replaced by a fresh earthy, grassy smell.

He wondered if Miyagi had perhaps brought him to a secret garden hidden in the depths of the university, yet his father had never spoken of such a place.

He gripped Miyagi’s hand tightly as he led him further on. After a few more metres, they stopped and Miyagi finally allowed him to open his eyes.

The first thing he saw was a bright light, shining from a single lantern placed near their feet on the floor, illuminating a small area around it before the light was once again absorbed by the darkness all around them.

The lantern was sitting next to a red checked blanket spread over a wide futon on which had been placed a selection of delicious treats.

Shinobu looked over at Miyagi in surprise. The man was watching him closely and smiled as he raised a finger and, saying nothing, simply pointed upwards.

Shinobu’s eyes followed Miyagi’s finger and he gasped. He suddenly realised where they were. Above their heads were thousands, no _millions,_ of stars. Stars big and small, some seeming close, others far away, all spread out like a tapestry of gleaming, pulsating light.

Shinobu couldn’t take his eyes away from them; he listened to the sounds of the birds and insects, the rustle of the wind, and felt completely swept away as he lost himself in the beauty of the black night speckled with gold.

Warm arms slid around him and he felt soft lips brush the back of his neck.

“I know a planetarium’s not the same as the real thing,” Miyagi murmured, “but where else in Tokyo can you see the stars so clearly? And a picnic outside in the rain isn’t quite so fun either.”

Shinobu trembled in his arms.

“It’s perfect,” he whispered.

Miyagi smiled happily and pulled him down onto the futon.

“Hope you’re hungry!”

Now that he mentioned it, Shinobu suddenly realised that he was actually very hungry indeed. He hadn’t eaten much all day as he waited for Miyagi to return. But now all his anger and disappointment had completely vanished; he had never imagined Miyagi would do something as romantic as this.

They reclined on the blanket, chatting in low voices as they worked their way through the tasty food Miyagi had brought for their picnic.

When they had finished, they moved the dishes containing the remains of the food aside, then scooted closer to each other on the futon. Miyagi brought out a bowl filled with juicy strawberries and picked one out.

He teased Shinobu with it, raising it to his mouth, brushing the sweet fruit against his lips before pulling it away when Shinobu tried to bite. Shinobu laughed, protesting, finally catching Miyagi’s wrist and holding it still while he bit into the strawberry, relishing the sweet taste on his tongue. Miyagi ate the second half and picked up another.

They ate the succulent fruit slowly, teasing each other playfully and leaning forwards to kiss and nip at each other, tasting the flavour of the strawberries on each other’s lips.

When the fruit had all gone, Shinobu put the bowl aside and turned onto his side, facing Miyagi. They lay together, watching each other in the low light. Miyagi raised a hand and gently began to caress Shinobu’s face. At the feel of his loving touch, Shinobu’s eyes drifted shut with pleasure and Miyagi took the opportunity to lean forward and brush Shinobu’s lips with his own.

Shinobu opened his eyes at the contact and smiled slightly at his lover. He slid his arms over Miyagi’s shoulders and curled his fingers in his black hair, pulling Miyagi down for a deeper kiss.

They held each other, kissing sweetly, for some time, simply enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms. Eventually, however, kissing was no longer enough, and on the soft, red blanket, with the sounds of nature around them, in perfect tranquillity they made love to one another under the stars.

Afterwards, Miyagi spread a spare blanket over their sticky, naked bodies and scooped Shinobu up into his arms, sighing contentedly. Shinobu rested his head on his older lover’s chest and gazed up at the stars overhead.

“They’re so beautiful… I’ve never seen so many stars! Miyagi, do you know any of the constellations?”

“Of course! Don’t you?”

“No, not that I can remember. The neon signs of Tokyo don’t exactly make star-gazing easy, you know,” Shinobu replied dryly.

“Ah, that’s true. Well, I grew up in the country so they were much clearer there. I remember getting a book about space and the constellations when I was a kid. I think I can still remember some, but I’ve probably forgotten most.”

“Show me some!” Shinobu requested.

Miyagi thought for a moment, then pointed up at a cluster of stars to his right.

“See those there? With a kind of head on the left and body and legs to the right?”

Shinobu strained his eyes, but couldn’t see where Miyagi was pointing, so Miyagi took his hand and pointed it in the right direction.

“Right up there, see?” he whispered in Shinobu’s ear.

“I… think so…”

“That’s the Great Bear.”

“Oh, I think I’ve heard of that one. Any others?”

“Yep.” Miyagi guided Shinobu’s hand to point at another constellation. “There’s Sagittarius, the centaur with a bow.”

“… I think I can just about see why they call it that.”

“And up there is Cygnus, the Swan…”

Shinobu squinted his eyes.

“Really? Doesn’t look much like a swan to me…”

“No, I never really got that one either. Let me see if I can remember any more, hmmm…

Oh yeah… Up there, a group of stars forming a kind of elongated circle, with a squiggly line in the middle and some smaller stars forming little semi-circles above – see that?”

“Uh-huh…”

“That’s the Bearded Panda.”

A grin spread across Shinobu’s face.

“I like that one!”

“I thought you might,” Miyagi chuckled, holding Shinobu even closer.

Shinobu turned and buried his face in Miyagi’s chest, squeezing him tightly. Looking up, he said in a quiet voice,

“Miyagi – thank you.”

“What for?”

“For giving me the perfect romantic date.”

Miyagi smiled. “Well, nothing but the best for my Shinobu-chin.”

They held each other and chatted quietly for a while longer until finally, lulled by the gentle sounds around them in the darkness, they drifted off to sleep, curled up under the blanket together, both feeling utterly content in this moment of perfect stillness and beauty, when it felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

 

***

 

On Monday morning, the Dean pulled into his parking space at Mitsuhashi University, just as his colleague, Professor Ito of the Physics department, was stepping out of his car in the next spot.

They greeted each other and started walking towards the entrance to the main building. As they walked, Miyagi hurried past, anxious to get to his office to catch up on a little work that he hadn’t done over the weekend before lectures started. Catching sight of the professors, he grinned broadly and called out his greeting.

Professor Ito smiled. “So good to see Miyagi-san in high spirits again!”

“Yes,” the Dean replied shortly.

“Woman trouble, I’m sure. Glad he sorted it all out, though after this last weekend I don’t see how any woman could say no to him!”

The Dean looked at him, puzzled. “What do you mean? What’s so special about this weekend?”

“Oh, well, he came to me last week and asked if he could borrow the Planetarium in our department on Saturday evening for a date.” Ito explained. “A little unconventional, but he seemed quite earnest and it was an original idea so I said it was fine, so long as he tidied up himself afterwards. He did ask me to give him a hand setting it all up, and I have to say, he must truly care for this woman, as I’ve never seen anyone put so much effort into a simple date before! He spent the best part of the day on Saturday getting it all ready for the evening. The whole thing was really rather romantic. I thought I might actually borrow his idea myself, my wife has been looking a bit down lately.”

The Dean paused in shock. Professor Ito looked at him in curiosity.

Maybe he really had been wrong about them all along, the Dean thought. It sounded like they did truly love each other. Maybe Shinobu really did belong with Miyagi.

Smiling to himself, the Dean continued walking, feeling like a weight had finally been lifted off his shoulders.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, folks! Hope you enjoyed reading :)


End file.
